Amnesia (Poem)

 

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A storm passes through my heart
as thoughts of you fade,
keeping me at the base of the lighthouse
as you drift away.
The soft kisses you once placed on my lips
have drifted in the wind,
just like the touch of your fingers
have slipped away as they stop touching my skin.

My heart feels like it’s caught in the tide
trying to get back to me
as you fly on the waves of the wind into the sky,
leaving me with amnesia.

A Letter to my 18 year old Self

To My 18 year old Self,

 

Congratulations you are graduating high school, now here are somethings you need to know about entering the adult world. As you enter into the adult world, you will feel even more confused, alone, and maybe slightly unsure about if you are doing the right thing, and here is the thing, do not worry too much. Because you are not the only one who feels this way, millions of people feel alone, feel unsure about their purpose, and feel as though they are lost in the chaos of life. Just breathe. Breathe and do not be afraid to get the help that you need.

As you navigate through the college years and the multiple jobs you will have, you will find yourself a little more. Especially in the sense of what you are looking for in a workplace setting, and what you are looking for in your own career. Don’t assume that you will figure it out right away, because in reality that is just ridiculous. You will not figure it out until later on in life. Also, keep in mind, you will have numerous jobs, these jobs are to prepare you for your own business that you will end up creating in your early twenties.

Love, you never really focused on love all that much in high school. Sure, you dated a few people, but you never really thought about love, or the marriage aspect of it. But now as you head into adulthood, you will end up finding yourself focusing a little more on the whole subject matter. Before you end up in a relationship with anyone, figure out what it is that you look for in a partner, because if you have no clue then you will end up throwing yourself into random useless relationships that are unfulfilling, and you will end up thinking that there is something wrong with you. And you know that saying, “things will happen when the time is right”? Yeah, that saying is true. Stop overthinking everything and focusing on the fact during the times that you are single that you don’t have anyone, because that is not helping you and you will end up putting yourself through even more heartache.

Don’t be afraid to speak your mind, because I know right now that you are extremely shy about saying anything, because you are more about making sure that everyone is happy, and you are more about pleasing everyone. Know this, you cannot please everyone. And with you still in the closet to a good portion of your family, you are hurting yourself and damaging yourself even more. Be proud to be bisexual, there is nothing wrong with it.

Just remember, life is going to tear you down, send you into a breakdown, and I know that you will have more depression breakdowns, just remember to breathe. Go get help, don’t be stubborn, and do not think that you are a burden because you are not. And remember to breathe, because if you could see where you are now in 2017, you would be so proud.

Sincerely,

25 year old me

August Afternoon (Poem)

It’s an August afternoon
the sun beats down on you and I,
here I can picture you walking by my side
till we both die.

Farther down this road
as I stand beside you
I look at you,
glancing ever so often into the future,
to see the life this waiting for us is like.

And now here we are
on this beautiful day,
as the love between you and I grows,
and this is the truth,
I will spend my whole life loving you.

Language of the Heart (Poem)

I speak the language that only you know,
while the rest of the world tries to decipher,
for it is our hearts that speak the same language.
The words speak the truth of my intentions,
they show that I want to sleep with you forever,
travel the world with you by my side,
and die in your arms.

From this day forward
I make you this promise,
that no matter how far we are apart,
I will send you moonlight kisses
till you are in my arms again.

* Painting commissioned by Vincente Romero Redondo

Simple Life, Simple You: Coconut Chocolate Brownies

As many of you know that I am a foodie, I enjoy a lot of different types of food and enjoy creating new recipes for others to enjoy as well. And as many of you know that I am all about healthier versions of foods, which brings to this post. Recently, I have been working on multiple recipes to share with all of you, and this one is the first one I want to share. This recipe is for everyone, and even for those who are looking for something sweet yet a healthier version of the brownies. So, this morning I whipped up a batch and had my roommates try them out, and they loved them!

Brownie Ingredients:

1/2 cup coconut flour
4 tbsp. Gluten free all purpose flour
1/4 cup melted coconut oil (melted)
2 tbsp. Brown sugar
1/3 cup maple syrup
2 tbsp. Cocoa powder
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 organic eggs
1/4 salt
3/4 cup chocolate chips

Sauce Ingredients:

3 tbsp coconut oil (melted)
1 1/2 tbsp brown sugar
3 tbsp maple syrup
1 tbsp cocoa powder

Directions(brownies):
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix all wet ingredients thoroughly, then add the dry ingredients. Once batter has been mixed, fold in the chocolate chips.
Put batter into a small greased pan, place the pan into the oven for 15 minutes. At the 10 minute mark, add the sauce on top, then place it back into the oven for 5 more minutes. Once done, put brownies into the refrigerator for twenty five minutes to cool down and let the sauce settle.

Directions (sauce):
Whisk all ingredients into a caramel like consistency. When it is at the 10 minute mark, drizzle the sauce over the brownies.

Book Club: June

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As a book dragon (I divulge books like a dragon and rather enjoy them), I thoroughly enjoy a novel that is both fiction and historic, to me those novels will take me back to a simpler time that I have always wished for. And the Medici’s Daughter is one of those novels, a novel that will transport you back in time and lets you see through the eyes of Marguerite, daughter of Catherine de Medici, and sister to the future king Francis.

The time is 1564 in the winter, Princess Margot (Marguerite) has been summoned to the court in France, where one word from your mouth could cause travesty to you and your family. Being the daughter of Catherine de Medici, who is highly intimidating and such a powerful player of the courts during the time of a religious war, Princess Margot must learned the game just as well to please her family. Margot being the obedient daughter has accepted her role as a marriage pawn, even though she is in love with Duc de Guise, and agrees to marry Henri of Navarre, a man who is over zealous and wishes to seal a truce between the two countries. However, this promised marriage is all but a mirage concocted by her mother. On the day of her wedding, after the bloodshed has occurred, Princess Margot must choose between her family and soul.

Sophie Perinot has truly done it again with this novel of Princess Marguerite, and quite honestly there is nothing this author cannot do. Run to the nearest place where they sell books, and pick up your copy of this wonderful and colorful novel, it is truly a great way to kick off the summer time.

Proceed with Caution (Poem)

Warning, warning!
Proceed with extreme caution,
one more step and they’ll put on the parental locks.
They don’t want to speak of it,
they dont want to have the discussion,
no they just want to push it aside,
and add more stigma on it.

What are you afraid of?
Afraid to acknowledge it?
Afraid to admit you were wrong about it?
Stop telling everyone that there is something wrong with us,
that we require to be treated as though we are dolls.
No, instead say it,
I dare you,
say the two words,
mental illness.