activist · believing · love · true love · unconditional · zen

Wrong To Be Extremely Picky?


In today’s society, the divorce rate keeps increasing. People get married at 18 and getting their first divorce by the age of 23. Then they end up getting married and divorced again and again. It’s a never ending cycle.
As I watch everyone around me getting married, having kids and getting divorced,Β  my mind goes a million times faster than usual. Why do they get married and then end up getting divorced, does no one take vows seriously anymore? Is everyone just getting married just because everyone else is, or are they actually undeniably in love with the one that they are with? What’s the cause of the divorce, is it due to financial reasons, have they stopped being in love, are they just unhappy?
So many questions rush through my head. I don’t have the answers to my own questions, but I assume that the answers would be generic crap. A bit of advice for everyone: if you are thinking of getting a divorced, think about going to a counselor first before making rash decisions. If it was abuse or cheating, then that’s a whole other story. If my partner was beating me up, I would leave him immediately. If my partner cheated on me, I would kick him out of my life. Once a cheater, always a cheater. But if it is about financial issues or anything else, then counseling is the best route.
I’ve had this conversation several times with my friends and even family. Which always leads me to describing my ideal man. Just to clarify, my type of man is, a man who runs his hands through his hair without having to use a giant amount of gel, has a thick and trimmed beard, would rather pull on some 501’s, wears a nice button down shirt opened up enough to see his chest hair, wears musky cologne (not axe), has tattoos that go up and down his arms leading onto his chest and only tan with the sun coming out during the summer and spring, reads for pleasure and has his dream job. After I describe him, everyone looks at me with a sad look in their eyes. Everyone always tells me that I will never find someone that I find so perfectly imperfect. In the end, I always tell them that I am not going to settle for someone who is a megalomaniac, workaholic, drunk, abuser and cheater. That would be wasting my precious time. This is why I can tell after one date if I am wasting my time or not.
I have a specific type of person that I am attracted to. Just like everyone else does. But here’s the thing that separates me from rest of society, I refuse to settle for anyone. Especially when it comes to finding someone to spend the rest of my life with. I’ve always told myself that I will only get married once. “Why?” you ask. Because I believe that after I get married once, I can’t find another person to love. I maybe a hopeless romantic but I’m also realistic. I am extremely picky, and I’m perfectly fine with that. I would rather be with someone who makes my heart flutter, head spin, and sends a shiver down my spine. It may take me longer to find Mr. Forever, but in the end it will be worth it.

4 thoughts on “Wrong To Be Extremely Picky?

  1. it’s natural for people to need each other!
    hard though when communication skills & virtues
    are not adequate to ride the ups & downs waves.
    certainly there are good prospects out there,
    even if they need a little encouragement & dusting off.
    good luck in your heart’s aspiration πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s true that people need one another. It has always been like that since the dawn of time. Communication skills are extremely important, as well virtue. But sadly, in this day and age, those two are long gone. It’s hard to find any good prospects at this point. But I do know that at some point, there will be someone worth being with. Thank you! I wish you good luck in your own aspirations. πŸ™‚


      1. perhaps there are opportunities to encounter like-minded people. connects people with similar interests, is an example. i go to a photography, hiking, paddling and meditation groups found at meetup. wonderful to experience other’s physical presence & smiles πŸ™‚


      2. It’s hard to meet like-minded people in the area that I’m currently in. But I have heard of that site. I’m just a bit skeptical about internet sites. Sounds like you have some unique hobbies just like I do. Thank you for your kind advice. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

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