I was approached to go over this subject by quite a few people. And I had to really think about this subject, due to the fact that I have dealt with this new drug in the past. For the record, being addicted to porn is a drug. It is like any other drug out there, you can get addicted and it can ruin your love life and ruin you.
The year was 2005, I was in 8th grade. I was like any other teenage girl. Participating in basketball, choir, spending most of my time in the library, getting in trouble and hanging out with my friends. One day after school, when I was researching some things on the internet for a project, I came across a website. At the time, I didn’t think much of it. I knew what the site was about, I had seen Playboy magazines and also seen the late night movies on Cinemax , so I didn’t care. But at that time, I didn’t know the affect it would have on me. I didn’t know that I would be addicted to it. Throughout the rest of my 8th grade year, I kept watching the videos online and checked out the Playboy magazines that I hid in my room. At one point, I told myself that I wanted to look like a play bunny and make those kind of videos because I thought they were amazing. A couple years later when I was turning 16, I was dealing with the addiction of watching porn every night before I went to bed and also dealing with being bullied because I was considered different from everyone that I went to school with. My addiction was getting worse and worse. I kept thinking about the videos while I was sitting in class. I would have fantasies play out in my head. It would keep me distracted from my classwork. By the time I was 18 years old, I had already tried to get help for my addiction, I thought that being baptized would be the answer. But it wasn’t. Yes, I had found God. But my addiction to porn was getting stronger and stronger. I started to have body image issues. I kept thinking that if I had bigger breasts and butt with a flat stomach, then guys would want to be with me. At 18 years old, I had dealt with some horrible guys. No, I didn’t have sex. I didn’t lose virginity till I was 20 years old. But at the age of 18, I kept thinking that if I had looked like the porn stars, then maybe I would have had a better shot with the guys. Even though my mindset was like that at the time, I knew in my heart that I was not ready to go that far with someone. I wanted my first time with someone who was special to me and didn’t degrade my body. I had continued to have the body image issues in college, while I was still addicted to the porn sites. It was getting worse. And when I had moved to a new state to attend a better college, I had decided to finally get help. I wanted to have a healthier perspective of my body and also step away from those sites. A person that I was working with back in 2013, told me of someone who would love to help me get away from the porn and help me with loving my body just the way it is. That woman helped me with my addiction and body issues. June 26, 2013 was the last day that I ever saw a porn video, website, and Playboy magazine. I can honestly say that it is amazing. It feels amazing to step away from those horrible sites and magazines. Yes, there are temptations out there, especially with the 50 Shades of Grey books and movie. But I steer clear of those things, because I know for a fact that it will bring back that addiction. And I don’t want to go back down that road. I am not a prude. I still have a sexual side, but I know for a fact that I don’t need to look at a porn site, movie or magazine to bring out my fantasies. I have developed a healthier lifestyle when it comes to sex. Not only that, I have developed a healthier body image. It has definitely been a long painful process, but I learned a lot about the porn industry and also about body image issues. I can honestly say that I am a fan of burlesque. It’s not porn and it’s all about the art of seduction and embracing the body as a beautiful thing. I have friends, men and women, who are burlesque dancers and all of them are different sizes. They don’t get naked on stage, and it is a beautiful form of art. I know that people will have a hard time with keeping porn and burlesque into their own categories, but I will go over that in a completely different post on another day.
Fast forward to now, it’s 2015 and it will be 2 years in June since the last time I went to one of those sites. I feel better about myself and I’m now a spokesperson standing up against the porn industry. I know the affects that a person goes through, in no particular order:
-body image issues
-leads to other addictions
-unrealistic expectations in the bedroom
-abusing yourself or even a partner
-many other problems that a person goes through.
Those in the porn industry are not happy with themselves. They are only making those videos in order to make money to feed those other addictions that they are dealing with. Not only that, they are upset with their bodies and with whatever damaged them as a child. No one really wants to make those videos or be a centerfold in a magazine. I know there are a lot of people who are dealing with being addicted to porn. Let me tell you, it is hard to step away from those sites and put down those magazines, but it will make a big impact in your life once you start to get help with the addiction.
This was the hardest post that I’ve ever had to write. Due to my own experience with it, but I wanted to show that there is hope. That you can get help with your addiction. Being addicted to porn is like any other drug. You have side effects and you can easily get addicted to other drugs while you have this problem. It’s time to stand up and fight the new drug. Getting rid of the porn industry will make life healthier. Yes, there has always been some sort of porn. Pompeii was a hotbed of prostitutes and there are still paintings of porn in the brothels, but to me those are like child’s play. Porn nowadays has gotten a lot worse and people are flocking to it like a duck to bread.
Stand up against the new drug and create a healthier lifestyle for everyone.