On the outside, I look fairly calm. The serene look on my face is what projects to everyone around me. But only a few people really knows what goes on inside of me.
On a daily basis, I deal with an anxiety disorder. Dealing with the sudden state of shock that sends my body into overdrive. My left arm and fingers go numb and start to tingle. My head spins, and I feel like I’m going to lose control. My throat feels hard and I’m unable to utter a few sentences without bursting into tears.
I tend to get this way when I am faced by a death in the family, tests (school or work wise), when being confronted or any confrontation with a authority figure, clowns (terrified of clowns), and sometimes when my allergies are kicked into overdrive then I will have a panic attack.
Dealing with this on a daily basis, has been rough but overall I am able to cope with it. I’ve learned to deal with my disorder in a healthy way.
I have to meditate every day, in order to stay calm.
2. Taking deep breaths.
When I am dealing with an attack, I have to start taking deep breaths. It sounds a little like I’m hyperventilating, but it slows down my pulse and I start to feel a little better.
3. Writing poetry.
I’ve always been a writer. And when I feel an attack coming on, or even after I’ve had an attack, I grab my poetry journal, a pen, and start writing. It helps calm my mind and my trembles go away.
4. Rubbing my left palm.
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always done this. When I’m having an attack, I immediately start rubbing my left palm. It calms me down. It slows down my heart rate. My mind starts to become clear.
It’s not easy. It’s never going to be easy when you have to live with an anxiety disorder. But you have to learn how to live with it. Learn how to calm yourself when dealing with an attack. And you have to try to not let it run your life.