The Dutchman’s Ship (Poem)

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Abandon all hope who dare set sail upon this ship,
For today would be the last day upon land.
Prepare yourselves,
Prepare your souls,
Once your foot has stepped on,
You will be turned into mist.

For thousands of years,
From this day on,
You will be my crew,
You will be my slaves,
You will no longer have loved ones.
So before you step onto my ship,
Ask yourself this,
Are you ready to never set foot on land ever again?

Today (Poem)

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Today is the last day I stop worrying about what others say about my body.
Today is the last day I cry when I hear the words, “you are fat”.
Today is the last day I stop trying to fit in.
For today is the day I take my life by the reigns,
And steer far away.
Today is the day I begin a new path for me.
Today is the day I become fearless.
Fearless, strong and wise.
Today I sail this ship,
And set sail for what is about to happen next.
I know my body is healthy,
My heart is filled with love,
And soul is enlightened.
Now I am to set sail,
and let the universe guide me to my next destination.
The wind has cleansed me,
As the water washes the toxins away.
As the ship continues to go through the roaring seas,
I know in my soul I will soon be set completely free.
Free from negative thoughts,
Free from the modern world.
Free from what has been holding me back.
Today I set sail on this ship,
And from this day forward I will not look back.
But towards the future beyond the seas.

Back to Who We Are

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Everyone on this planet dreams. Some dream in vivid color, some dream in black white, some can only see pitch black but are able to hear voices in their dreams. For me, my dreams are very much real. I can see details on the smallest things in my dreams; and if I get hurt on any specific part of my body in the dream, I end up waking up with a bruise or scar in that exact same spot. This has always happened to me.

Dreams (and or visions, some call them) are meant for us to work out our problems and sort through everything. In many cases, you will receive messages in your dreams that are clear and you will receive hidden messages. Each dream is different, just like everyone on this planet is different.
In order to really pay attention to what our dreams are trying to tell us, we should write it down. I do. I have a journal where I write down both my emotions and stressful life to my dreams. Because I know my dreams are trying to tell me something that I need to know. For example, last night’s dream was showing me of a path that is for me, and was trying to steer me clear from the house that had people getting it on and junk food all around. I saw on the path only a few other people who were meant for a similar life (both spiritually and everyday life). And I knew once I had woken up, something not only inside of me, but out here in the physical world was about to change for me.

Our dreams are our inner world’s and our inner selves trying to sort themselves out and to keep us on the right path that has been designated for us. Don’t just brush them off and say they are nonsense, because you are going to find out more about yourself and heal yourself in the process.

The Cabbage Patch Baby (Poem)

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Sometimes my eyes are brown,
Sometimes they are green,
In fact sometimes they are every color in between.
Millions of curls,
And a strong nose.
It is hard to recognize who I look like the most.
With an elf ear and a cabbage patch face,
It is said that this baby was found in the fields where the sprites come out to play.

Do I look more like my mom?
Do I look more like my dad?
The answer is both.
A pinch of this,
A dash of that,
Their genetics danced the tango,
and came out with a November baby.

An Herbalist Advice: Equisetum Arvense

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At some point in our lives, we all have to deal with the dreaded bladder infection, it is never pretty and to be honest we all try to avoid ever having to deal with such a notion. Bladder infections are painful and in the end, it is worse than having cramps during your time of the month.
Thankfully, there are so many different ways of not getting a bladder infection and staying healthy, however even the smallest thing can set off our bladders and things will go awry. While a person is dealing with having a bladder infection, there are plenty of things he or she can do to make it go smoother and relieve some of the pain.

Equisetum arvense, also known as Horsetail, is a very common herb in European medicine, due to the fact that it is used to get rid of the blood in the urine and urinary stones. Equisetum arvense is a mild diuretic that works amazingly and as it is working on the system it does not get rid of the electrolytes that your body needs, that way you will not get that “washed out” feeling that you usually get when you are taking such a diuretic that you get a local grocery store. The typical dosage for this herb is up to six 400 to 500 milligram capsules per day; or you can do the alternative which is fifteen to thirty drops of tincture three times per day; or you can go the easier way of doing up to six cups of tea per day by steeping two teaspoons of the dried herb in one cup of hot water for ten minutes.
This herb works wonders, it truly does and if you are currently suffering from a bladder infection, this is definitely for you.

Part of the Battle

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Step inside my mind and see what I deal with each and every passing day. See the torment and pain I try to hide inside my mind, away from your eyes. A diagnosis that doctors see as something that can be fixed with medications, yet they don’t really know. They just want to make more money, and dig you a deeper hole. The thought of a therapist makes you a nervous wreck, yet you know it will help you in the end. So you go to some sessions, until you can get back on your feet again. Yet it still lingers there, lurking in the shadows of your mind, ready to strike you down once again.
Pinning you down to your bed, leaving you staring at the ceiling hours on end.
You don’t bother to count the tiles or dots on your ceiling, you just stare blankly at it. With your doors locked and windows shut, you crawl deeper under the covers while the movie plays on in the background to keep you somewhat sane. The paints on the floor and canvases scattered, you steer clearly away from them until you have mustered the courage. Forget the poetry, forget the bills. Just removing your body from the bed is like being on trial in hell. It literally feels as though you are a puppet on a string, letting it have control of you and everything.
Once you’ve finally felt like you are feeling better, you head to work and begin to write again. But you know that it will strike you once again, because it lingers in the corners of your mind. But you know that it is part of the battle you must face, and you must live with it every single day.

* Depression is not something to be made fun of, and it isn’t something to be labeled as “sad”. It can try to control your life, and that’s something I know very well. This post is what I have dealt with my entire life and it is a very real thing. My “medication” is my poetry and my painting, it helps me get through the tough days. If you are suffering from depression, please see a trusted physician or psychiatrist. It may be hard to go at first, but it will be worth it. Trust me.

An Old Fashioned Love

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“Your friendship can’t satisfy me, Anne. I want your love. ” Gilbert Blythe  (Anne of Green Gables )

When I was nine years old, I picked up the first Anne of Green Gables book and began to read it. I fell in love with all of the characters, and saw a lot of myself in the main character, Anne Shirley. Despite our physical differences and me being more introverted, I felt that the character and I were one. As I continued to read the entire series, I started to really like Gilbert Blythe, Anne’s love interest. His compassionate heart, lively soul, spunk, humor, intellect, and overall character. All I can say is that Lucy Maud Montgomery wrote this character very well.
Gilbert Blythe and many other male characters from other books (Colonel Brandon, John Rochester, Mr. Darcy) had given me high standards for finding the one true love for me. And when I had begun dating, it seemed like I was on a mission of some sort to find my own “Gilbert Blythe ” or “Colonel Brandon”. And trust me, high school was rough enough with the bullies, but the dating scene was rough as well. Guys cheated on me left and right, because I wouldn’t put out. College rolled around and I dated, but just like in high school, they all cheated. I didn’t know why, I was no longer a virgin (lost it at 20 years old ), but I still didn’t put out no matter who I was dating.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, at the age of twenty four years old and suddenly had an epiphany of what had been going on my entire dating life. Even though I was attracted to a specific type of guy, I saw these guys that I had dated as “lost and broken”. I wanted to fix them. Awh, the bad boy dilemma. It happens to nearly everyone. Regardless of a person being gay, straight or lesbian. You see the “bad boy or girl” persona and want to fix them, thinking you can turn them into the person you wish to be with. And you know you can’t, but you try and you try.

After I had this epiphany, I began to write in my journal (yes, I’m in my mid 20’s, but it helps me) and started to realize that I had steered off the path in middle school. Even though I had been reading those classic novels, and still had major crushes on the literary characters of my childhood, I wanted to fix those bad boys. I finally found myself again in my love life. I finally saw in my own handwriting what I wanted in a man who I would call my life long partner, lover, best friend. And saw that I still upheld the characteristics and personality traits that I looked for as a kid. But I also saw that my tastes in outward appearance changed. Still the rugged with a trimmed beard, hands on, and  tattoo’s stayed the same, but a sense of simple outdoors fashion added (and I guess what you call Indie thrown in). I noticed that I had written “courtship” in my journal. Still old fashioned, not a lot of people do that, but I like the idea of being courted before dating to see if it is worth pursuing a relationship with a person. It might seem silly to most of my readers, but I’ve always fancied it. I know a guy friend who courted his now husband before dating and they’ve been together for more than thirty years and more in love each day.
The ways of the heart is complicated; we don’t know why we have a specific type, why we want to fix the bad boy or girl, or why we have a set of standards for ourselves. But the heart wants what the heart wants, and it’s best to follow it. Even if for a time where we must try to “fix” others, before getting back on track.