If you look through my posts on this site you will see a pattern form, you will see the posts that I provide for those who wish to get healthier by the holistic route, my poems that I showcase, ways to live simple, ways to stay healthy, and the most important one of them all the posts about body image. Body image is a big thing for me. In fact, I am one of the writers who will talk about how to love yourself, love your body, and to love others. Time and time again I write about how to feel more comfortable in the skin that you are residing in. The advice I give usually goes like this: stand in front of the mirror, butt naked, look at your body and see what is there. There is no “ugliness”. There is nothing wrong with you.
Each time I give this advice, I receive email from both men and women who are self conscious about their bodies. I received an email from a man who happened to be on the heavier side naturally. Good form, good posture, nice broad shoulders and arms. He is extremely insecure about his torso and stomach. He is heavier in that region and tries to eat healthy and workouts (powerlifts amongst other things). He wishes that he had a six pack. Now as a wellness coach, I could easily work with him in the area of nutrition and fitness, but what he needs now more than anything is to realize that he is already handsome. He is already a good looking man with a lot of potential, a good caring heart, an adventurous life, people who care about him and love him dearly. Personally, I have seen a picture of what this man looks like, and no I will not be posting it on here (confidential), and in my honest opinion, I find him extremely attractive. I don’t care about his stomach that seems to be a “little too big” according to him. I see his infectious smile, compassionate soul and his drive for life. That is what I see. For me, as a woman, he is perfect. Well, perfectly imperfect, because no one is truly perfect, there is no such thing.
Another email I received was from a young lady, she is recovering anorexic, and she is starting to get better. She was dropped down to a whopping 90 lbs for her 5’5 frame. The pressure of society and the media had taken its toll on her and she started to lose weight so fast, that she ended up in the hospital. That is what the media and the pressure of society does to a person, they tear you down. Making you feel inferior and making you lose control of your body. I am currently working with this young girl and helping her establish a healthier relationship with her body and getting to her ideal weight. Thankfully, she is doing much better.
One of my sisters, I will not name which sister it is but she is naturally skinny has been her entire life. And our entire life, she was picked on about her body, picked on because of size. People would call her anorexic, and I know for a fact that she isn’t . She is just genetically built like that, she cannot help it. Because of beasts like those who have decided to pick on her, she has developed a body image problem. People are practically skinny shaming her just because she is naturally built like that. She is one of the healthiest people I know, and she delivered two beautiful girls who are my nieces.
Lastly, there is a coworker of mine who I am working with, because she is wanting to tighten up her stomach. She is not proud of her stretch marks, but she should be. Because she delivered beautiful children and those stretch marks are documented on her body to show her that she has brought in children to this amazing world of ours. The other day, when I was working with her during our lunch break, I was looking over the exercises that I had given her and noticed a note that her husband had left for her on the exercise papers, “You are beautiful just the way you, I love you for you.” It made her cry and I had to tell her just like I tell everyone else when I work with them. You need to be happy with your body, you may not like one thing about yourself, but everyone is that way. If you are unhappy with something about yourself and you wish to change it, the first thing to do is to learn how to love yourself first.
I give all of my patients a challenge to do. Every day, every morning, you must stand in front of the mirror butt naked and look at your body. You may try to look away, but don’t. Look at every curve, every scar, every dimple that is placed on your body. Notice it, embrace it. And every morning you do this, you must look at yourself and say one thing about your body and about your personality/characteristic that you love about yourself. By the end of the year, you will have a healthier relationship with your body.
This whole entire world seems to think that everyone should try to fit into some mold. That you have to be this or that in order to be found attractive. Quite honestly I find that ridiculous and preposterous. Beauty has no size. Beauty is not limited to just one type of shape or size. Beauty is both skinny, heavier, or in between. Beauty is inside everyone. Beauty lies inside the hearts, souls and minds of all humans. Beauty is more than just the skin that covers our muscles, bones, blood, and organs. Beauty is everything about a person. The whole package, as they call it. That is what beauty is.