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It Starts With Us: Parents Talking to Their Children to Stop Bullying

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“You’re not thin enough”, “You look weird”, “Why are you even here? You should die”, these phrases are just a few of the phrases that are being thrown around in the schoolyards, in the classrooms, and I kid you not, at work as well. And believe it or not, there are even some worse phrases that will not be mentioned in this post. Why? Because they are horrifying and should never be said to another human being, or any being for that matter.

Now, I am not a parent, well, I am a fur-mama, but I do not have any human children at the moment. However, I do have nieces and nephews, and they are the light of my world, and right now they are very young, very impressionable, and can sense when things are not right. And I know that they are the perfect target for bullying. Hell, every child, teenager, and adult is a perfect target for being bullied. I know this. I’ve lived through most of my life of being bullied. Bullied by classmates, by teachers (yes, that does happen), and even bullied by co-workers, and it is not something I would want another person to endure.

Recently, I found out that a friend of mine’s son was bullied. Bullied to the point that he was sent to the hospital with a broken nose, several broken ribs, and bruises all up and down his body. Do you know how angry this made his father feel? How his mother felt? Hell, when I heard what happened I got so mad to the point that I nearly broke a counter. Yes, I got that mad. But where does this anger get placed? On the school system? Absolutely, the school is responsible for the children while they are at school, and under their supervision. On the children themselves? Of course, they are supposed to know what is right from wrong. On ourselves? Yes, a million times yes it is, the anger should weigh heavily on us adults. Why should we be angry with ourselves? Because we are the adults here, we are supposed to show our children how to behave, how to treat one another and to show them that they are not supposed to bully and assault others. As the adults we are supposed to set an example for them, to show them that two beings can be in the same room without violating the other. We are not supposed to set a bad example to them about how to start a fight, how to mistreat a girl or a boy. We are the adults here, it is our job.

Yes, there are pep rallies every year in most schools that bring awareness to the subject at hand, but do they really make an impact? No, not really. Growing up I went to several of those rallies, and do you know what still occurred. The bullying still occurred. Don’t get me wrong, I think the rallies are great, but they do not actually do much help when it comes to telling children to stop bullying, to stop assaulting their classmates, or anyone they meet in life.

It all starts at home, with the parents. As parents, we are supposed to set examples, good examples of how to treat others, and it is the way you mistreat others, say unkind and horrible things about another person is what the children are seeing more of. I know this to be true. I know a lady who is in her early 40’s and she treats others like crap, she mistreats them, bullies them, steals their energy, and makes others feel like garbage. And time and time again her children have witnessed this, and time and time again I have to remind her that they are watching her every move, every word that she says, and they are more than likely going to mimic her as they grow up. And that is what happens. Children mimic their parents, they mimic the way we talk to each other, how we treat each other. And if they are seeing that we are mistreating each other, then they are going to assume that it is completely normal, that it is okay to bully and assault each other.

So, parents this on us. We need to be setting a good example for the children, and show them how two human beings can get along, and show them how to treat others. Have a long conversation, or two, or three. It doesn’t matter how many conversations you have with your children, the only thing that does matter is that you talk with them and that you set yourself as a good example. Because if we don’t do anything about this, then more and more boys and girls will end up in hospitals due to broken ribs, led to anorexia or bulimia, or even led to the final blow of a gun from being bullied.

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Simple Life, Simple You: Minimalist Lifestyle

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We live in a society where all the ads on television and in the newspapers telling us that we need this item right now, telling us that we will be complete once we have obtained that said item. That being said, you will not be complete with whatever item the ad is trying to sell to you. Instead, you will be spending more money on something that you probably didn’t need anyway. The society that we currently live in is all about more; more food, more clothes, more toys, just more of anything, and for a few minutes there will be a glimmer in your eyes telling the rest of us and yourself that you are happy, but in reality you are not. So instead of coping with your hoarding hobby, you make your way over to the nearest strip mall and you start roaming through the aisles, looking for something to make you feel that “happiness” once again. But then you don’t find it.

As a traveler, blogger, and coach, I find myself in the same boat but only with books. Being a bookworm, I am always wanting more books, to fill some sort of emptiness that I have deep inside. But I know for a fact that even though I love books and that they make me happy for a period of time when I am reading them, I know that they will not fill that void. So I tell myself that I should only keep a certain amount of books for the next six months, and once I am done; I will get rid of the ones that I do not want to continue reading. It makes it easier for me, and not only that, it makes it easier for when I travel to my next destination.

Creating a minimalist lifestyle might seem daunting, but in reality, it isn’t that hard. It is just creating piles of things to figure out what it is you are going to keep and what you are going to throw away or donate.

Wardrobe: The wardrobe is the most common place for many people to hoard clothes. Most people will buy articles of clothing and never wear them, just to only sit in the closet or drawer to gather dust. Creating a minimalist wardrobe is easy, and you can still have your own style and flair to go along with it. Only having 25 to 30 articles of clothing (not including intimates: boxers, underwear, bras, swimsuits), makes it easy on you to have some fun to mix and match your clothes, and makes it easy for when you are traveling to go to weddings, visit relatives, or even go overseas. **If you haven’t worn the article of clothing within the past 6 months, then donate it, because in reality you might never wear it again.

Books: I know, all of you bookworms out there that are just like me are gasping for air because I have put this into this post. However, let’s be realistic, traveling and lugging around two or three suitcases of books is not ideal in any situation. Because I’ve attempted that once, it was a horrible mistake. Now, I keep only 15 to 20 books with me at all times, then twice a year I go through them and look over them to see which ones I don’t want to keep, then replace them with different books for the next year.

Food: Yes, food is going to be on here. The reason why it is, is due to the fact that people eat way more than they used to, it is all about bigger and fuller plates, than actually enjoying what is in front of you. And for the most part, people don’t even eat half of what is in front of them, then they just toss the rest into the garbage can. The food we put into our stomach is for us to enjoy and savor the aroma and delicious herbs and spices that are placed upon the food. It is also to keep us nourished and keep us healthy. Food isn’t meant to be wasted in the landfills, while there are millions of children in third world countries are looking for a meal on the streets. If you are single, and enjoy making big batches of food for the work week, there is nothing wrong with that, just make sure that you don’t waste it by chucking it out, and don’t gorge out on it either, use proportions.

Email: We live in the digital age where everyone has an email account that is linked to their social media accounts, and also linked to their work. However, sometimes, the inbox can become cluttered with unwanted messages and scams. Cleaning out your inbox at least three times a month will help your digital side of life, minimalist as well.

Quality over quantity: When it comes to clothes, toys, and electronics, most people think that more is always better, but you don’t need to have more in order to have those things. Invest wisely in those things, find things that you know that you can wear over and over again for a while, until they are torn down; or those electronic devices that can last a long time. Because being able to use an object for a long time is a great thing, because you can create different outfits or you can still surf the web and create amazing documents on that computer, or your child can still play with the toy without it breaking down on them after only a few months. *I had a backpack that I had kept for four years and it finally fell apart, so I invested in a new one. I do the same thing with shoes, clothes, and electronic devices.

Living a minimalistic life is not daunting, you are only making it appear that way because you are unsure of how to start, and you are afraid to let go of the things that you truly do not need. Simplifying life creates more room to breathe, more room to be creative, and give your space some breath of fresh air so to speak.

 

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An Herbalist Advice: First Aid Kit

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In every house hold there is (or should be) a first aid kit for when things get a little bit out of hand, for example, a child has fallen and scraped his/her knee and it has begun to bleed. Every house hold needs a first aid kit, this is pretty obvious, however, most first aid kits are just made up of chemical induced products that a child should not be taking, or any adult for that matter. Keeping a first aid kit is extremely important, and when it comes to topical creams or other products that may be used, there will be a lot of side effects that come along with it (if you are not allergic to it, then that is great). However, adding to your first aid kit can never hurt, because it gives you a wide variety of things that you can use in case of emergencies. Here are a list of herbs and various plants that you can add to your first aid kit for either your home, car, or at work. Keep in mind, these are in no particular order.

  • Calendula Extract – This can be used for cuts and scrapes, minor burns, and inflamed rashes.
  • Chamomile Flowers – Chamomile flowers can be used for calming, indigestion, wounds, and rashes.
  • Fennel Seeds- These seeds can be used for indigestion, gas, bloating, and increase breast milk. These are much safer than the laxatives that you get at a drug store.
  • Ginger Root – The ginger root works fantastically for nausea, vomiting, and menstrual cramps.
  • Lavender – Lavender is known for being a calming herb, that being said, it works great for stress, anxiety, sleep, minor burns, and even cold sores.
  • Lemon Balm Leaf – Just like lavender, the lemon balm leaf works great for restlessness, irritability, indigestion, and sleep.
  • Marshmallow Root- The marshmallow root works wonders for mouths and sores, heartburn, cough, and indigestion.
  • Oatmeal – Not only is great to eat, it is also great for healing as well. Oatmeal can be used for itchy rashes, anxiety, sleep, and stress.
  • Peppermint Leaf- The peppermint leaf works amazingly for nausea, indigestion, gas, and congestion.
  • Red Raspberry Lea- This plant works wonders for those who are pregnant. Because it can be used for uterine tonic, pregnancy nausea, and diarrhea.
  • Stinging Nettles Leaf – The stinging nettle leaf works great for those who have low iron levels, seasonal allergies, and water retention. That way you are not taking those water pills that do more harm than good.

 

Having these on hand will help you out if you are looking for a healthier holistic alternative approach to healing specific ailments.

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Surviving in Mother Nature

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Many of you out there love the outdoors, just like I do. So during the spring, summer, or autumn season we all strap on our hiking boots and grab our camping bags for a trip under the stars and mountains. For those of us who know our way around the earth and around nature we have no problem with getting ourselves out of a rough patch when we come to one. However, there are those who have no clue what they are doing and they are novices to the outdoors, which leads them to getting lost and confused about where they are at and then things start to turn bad.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to proceed into the great unknown that is Mother Earth, then there are things that you must know if you wish to go camping or hiking, even if it is just for a day or night. Please, read this, print this, take this with you; because I can guarantee you that you will need it when you encounter such situations.

1. Getting lost. This one is the major one that I will be talking about because novices always get lost and then things start to go awry. When you get lost and your map is not helping you at all, let me tell you this…please do not panic! That is the last thing you want to do. When you panic, you end up creating the worst scenarios in your brain, then when that happens you end up running around in circles screaming as if you were a chicken with its head cut off. So please do not panic. What you need to do is calm your ass down (sorry, but this is the only way I will get your attention), assess the situation and start to look around for signs. Trying to figure out where you are while being anxious is the worst thing in the world, so please for the love of god, calm down. If you are near a river or stream, assess it, grab a drink (with a filtered bottle), and then proceed north of the river or stream. This will lead you back to civilization.

2. Make shelter. This one correlates with the first one. If you are lost in the forest, mountains, any region where you cannot reach civilization, the first thing you need to do is create shelter before night falls. You can make a make-shift tent with branches, broken trees (skinny ones), twigs and tie them together with either rope or some other material that you have brought along with you. More often than not, you can always find earth based material throughout the forest to help tie the branches together. Once you have created shelter, then you can go about and gather logs for your fire for the night.

3. Find food. Now, on this one it might be tricky for a lot of you, especially if you’ve never fished, hunted or have never studied plants. Making a make-shift spear will be great for when you go fishing in the river or lake, because once you have locked onto a fish that you wish to capture, throw that spear into it. With much larger animals, what you need to do is be very quiet and try not to startle the animal (now, I’ve never hunted because I don’t like to, but I know how to fish and know my way around the plants).

4. Burn baby burn. Fire, the best thing in the world. Not only does it keep you warm throughout the night and heat up your clothes when they have become wet, but it is also an excellent source of communication. Smoke signals are the best thing that you can use to attract the rangers attention and that way they can find you at your location. Granted, it would be nice if you knew any of the smoke signal codes, but if you don’t it is okay, just the signal alone will alert the rangers to come your way.

5. Be prepared. Now with this, you can’t be prepared to get lost. No one ever thinks that they will get lost, but in the event if you do become lost there are a few things that you need to have on you at all times. Wallet – you must keep your wallet on you at all times. Keep in your backpack in one of the zipped pockets, so that the rangers or whoever can identify you if things have gone horribly wrong (not saying that they will, but there is a possibility). Medications –If you are one of those people who are medications and you need to take them everyday, please take it with you. Your asthma inhaler will help you when you are hyperventilating and having a hard time breathing. And if you are diabetic, please keep your insulin and glucose monitor with you at all times. You don’t want to go into some diabetic coma because you forgot your insulin. Snacks – Granola bars, nuts, perishable items that won’t go moldy within a couple of days will help you. Yes, they are the worst things in the world (i.e. chips, jerky, etc. ) but you will be thankful that you had them in the first place when you are starving and wishing you had some hamburger or big salad. Water filter bottle- You can obtain these at your local stores, more likely at a camping gear store. Having one of these will help you in the long run when you are needing something to drink and all you have is some water that is holding feces from fish and other animals, and whatever chemicals that mankind has dumped into it (sorry, but our corporations are ignorant and they don’t realize what the hell they are doing). So it is best that you keep this with you at all times. Compass – This magnificent object is and will always be your best friend. When you are trying to find North and trying to go upstream this little guy will help you out. Baby it’s cold outside- not really, but you get the point. You never know what the weather will be like. One minute it can be bright and sunny, then all of a sudden it is raining so hard that you have to take shelter in a cave. Bring a jacket, I don’t care if it adds more weight to your pack., you will be lucky that you had it once it started to rain or even snow.

6. Talking body love. Sorry about the title to this one, I really enjoy the song. But when you are about to go on a trip, to anywhere in the world, you need to communicate. Tell a friend, relative, coworker; whoever it may be, tell them where you are going and how long you will be there. Let them know that when you expect to be back, and if something were to go wrong, to send people out that way so that you could be found. Look, I am not the first person to admit this, but I love going on trips and camping on my own, but for most people they cringe at the sight because I am a single woman in my mid-20’s and they see the world as something completely dangerous. Hell, I have more of a chance to be killed in a city than I will be killed by a mountain lion. But nevertheless, I let a coworker, friend or a relative know where I am going that way they can do what they need to do in case of emergencies.

7. Aw, I want to pet the pretty bear. No! Do not go near any wild animals that are ten times bigger than you and that are clearly dangerous. If you see a bear, there are several different ways to approach this. Slowly retreat, do not run! If you think you can outrun a bear, then you are sadly mistaken, because even though bears looks big and fat, they have the ability to out run you and have you for dinner. So the best thing to do is just to slowly retreat without it even detecting you doing so. If you are able to, climb a tree. And if you do climb, climb up very high to the point where the bear cannot even reach you. Now with this next solution, I don’t like it because it can cause much damage to the bear, but if you happen to have a pepper spray can on you, let the bear get close enough to you to where you can use the pepper spray and while it is disoriented, then you can make your escape. If it is a grizzly bear that you have encountered, then you might want to be prepared and have your backpack on. Grizzly bears are the most defensive type of bears (black bears being more timid than most), you will want to be on the ground in the fetal position with the backpack facing up towards the bear. The grizzly bear will see you as non-threatening, but there will be a chance of the bear trying to jump up and down on you, so the backpack will give you some protection from that. After the attack, do not, I repeat do not get up so fast, wait a few minutes after the bear has left and then you can proceed to get out of the area before anything else occurs.

 

Now, all of you who have been doing this for some years now, you should know by now what to do and what not to do, so this doesn’t fully apply to you. But it is here for you to reread. For all of you novices, please read this and then reread it, getting lost is not the greatest thing in the world for anyone. But if you don’t know what you are doing then please don’t go hiking or camping, unless you bring a buddy with you.

Happy camping and hiking everyone, hope you all enjoy the spectacular views that mother earth has to offer.