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My Brand New Poetry Book

Good morning everyone! I wanted to apologize for not writing a whole lot, this month has been very hectic due to work, studying for my Master’s, and working on the release of this new poetry book.

Today my brand new poetry book, Hearts of Glass, has been released by my amazing publisher, Middle Island Press. I have been working with the publishing press for the past couple of years, and they are truly amazing. They have given me the opportunity to release my poems out to all of you, and it had always been a dream of mine. I truly cannot thank then enough for letting me see my dream become a reality.

Hearts of Glass is poetry book that dives into the reality of the affairs of the heat. Showcasing just how fragile our hearts are, showcasing when we fall in love, out of love, and endure the most hurtful heartbreaks. And everyone can relate to many of the poems.

You can get your copy of my new poetry book on Amazon, and soon it will be available in select stores around the world.

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Seeking Answers in Mother Nature

For the past month, I haven’t really written a lot of posts for this site, nor have I really posted anything on my social media accounts, due to the fact that I have been in the process adjusting to my new job, new town, and new state. On top of that, I needed the time to take care of myself, to focus on my health and mentality, and to dive into my art and dreams. 

We’ve all been there, a new place where things seem foreign, a place of isolation even if we know a few people there, a time where we feel a little bit lost and are looking for the right path for us to take, hoping that we can find some sort of guidance to help us out. That’s where I’ve been for the past month. Don’t get me wrong, I love Alaska, it’s truly magnificent and outrageously beautiful. But there has been a few moments of, “is this truly where I’m supposed to be right now?” And so this past month, I had been going out into nature, talking to Mother Earth and seeking answers to my questions, and she answered. 

Being linked to Mother Earth, Father Sky, and my ancestors that roamed around the forests, hills, and mountains, it keeps me grounded, and gives me the ability to receive answers in my dreams. Sometimes they don’t make sense when I’m having the dream, but once they become reality, then I completely understand what they were trying to tell me. And that was what I was dealing with, I had received the answers that I was looking for. 

Not only that, I have been focus on my health and well being, by eating a little differently, going out into nature more since I live just half a mile from a trail that leads up into the mountains. There I can breathe, just stand in silence, and just be happy and healthy once more. 

Sometimes, we just need to step away from our electronic devices, social media accounts, and websites to heal ourselves before we can communicate with others and help others.

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To Never Give Up

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(Joan Sutherland at the Old Met in Lucia)

 

We all had dreams when we were younger, some of us wanted to be astronauts, others wanted to be the president, and some wanted to be actors or actresses. Yet, once we start growing up and start hitting middle school we get asked again about what it is we want to be when we grow up. And we are told to be realistic. At that point, a lot of kids start thinking about what it is they want to be (the backup plan), and many go onto medical school, become lawyers, or become teachers. Although many of us go to school become something more “realistic”, our dreams and passions are put on the back burner, and they are just left there for us to fantasize about what your life would be like if you were an actor or actress, or if you had become that astronaut. And that is all you do, just fantasize.

Here is the thing, instead of just going for a backup plan of your choice, why don’t you go with what you are truly passionate about? Why don’t you go down to a talent agency and put in your resume and headshots, and start working with an agent? Why don’t you go apply to college, to study the field that you want to be in? To be an astronaut? To focus on whatever your heart and soul is pushing you towards? Because society, your parents, and other adults who have put aside their own dreams and own passions tell you that you should be realistic, that you should forget about it because you will never become that. And they are wrong. You may not become the next A- lister of Hollywood, or you may not become the president; you will however be able to land roles of a lifetime, the roles that you will get to share your experience with to your grandchildren. You can still make a difference if you don’t become the president, in fact, you could be the next congressman or the next politician who will make a difference in someone’s life.

Some of us are even afraid to admit what it is that drives us, what it is that makes us want to reach towards the stars with our dreams and start following that path. And some of us are afraid of telling others what our true passions are, for the fear of judgment and ridicule will hover over our heads. I know. For years I have never told anyone, never told anyone of my passions and would always practice them in secret. To be a writer, yes, that is a passion of mine that I have been following for years and thoroughly enjoy it and truly am content with. Helping others to better themselves and to heal themselves, brings joy into my heart. To be a ballerina and to be on The Met (Metropolitan Opera) stage and sing my lungs and heart out; those are the two things that I have always wanted to do but have never pushed myself to do them. Why? Because there is that voice in the back of my head from all of those years of listening to others telling me that I will never make it and that it is unrealistic. However, despite listening to them, I practice. I practice my singing skills (I grew up in a musical household and on the stage, despite being introverted), and sing opera songs nearly everyday to see how high I can hit the notes. And with the help I had during my junior year of high school, my musical instructor figured out that I am a natural second soprano, which I did not know. I practice dancing, for dancing brings me joy and lets me be me. In everyday life, I can trip over my feet just by walking because I am a clumsy fool; however, when I hear music, I do not have any problems at all. For the music and I have become one and I can easily glide across the floor. Maybe one day I will make it to The Met. Maybe one day I will get the chance to perform in The Nutcracker. Maybe? If that word leaves my mouth one more time I will scream. Because there should never be a maybe attached to a sentence. Because one day I will get to The Met, and one day I will get to a part in a production on stage as a dancer.

Never let someone tell you that you are never going to make it, never let anyone tell you  that you need to be more realistic and that you need to settle for some job that you do not like. Because you will be miserable. Miserable because you have not done the things that you have wanted to do, miserable because you sit at home on a Friday night binge eating a tub of ice cream because you had never pursued your passions. Instead of listening to society, to all of those who question your talent, your passions and your dreams, this is what you need to do… never give up. That is it. That is all you need to do. To never give up.

 

 

 

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I Can See It (Poem)

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I can see it.
I can see you standing there looking at me,
As I walk down the path to you.
The tears streaming from my face,
match the ones that come from you.

I can see it.
I can see us living together,
Cuddling on the couch while we watch a movie,
create a family in that house,
and creating many memories.

I can see it.
I can see us living to the ripe old age of 80,
Living life to the fullest,
Creating recipes with the grandchildren,
And kissing each other for the last time
before we head off to the afterlife.
I can just see it.

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The Nomadic Soul

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For those of you who have been following and reading me for any length of time, you know that I am a person who loves to travel. In fact, there are times where I will spontaneously get in my car and drive off to some random place that I’ve never been to before and just explore the area. That is who I am, and that is how I will always be. There is nothing wrong with that. My entire life, all I’ve wanted to do is get a van, rebuild the interior and live out of it and just travel while I work and focus on my books. Who wouldn’t want to do that?

The nomadic lifestyle has always called to me, and it was pointed out to my parents very early on. They didn’t know what to make of it, and quite honestly they still don’t. Within a few months I will be 25 years old and they are still hoping that I stay put in one spot and just stay there, but sadly I am unable to do such a thing. Let me explain to why I am unable to settle into one spot.

Picture this; you are driving in a van with your bed in the back raised up and you have things stored underneath, suddenly you have found the perfect spot to park your van and you flip a switch to unlatch the back door of the van. You climb on out and open the door wide open and then you climb onto the bed. As you lay on the bed, you reach for a book that is in your little library and you begin to read under the lights that are placed on the ceiling of the van. Once you’ve finished the chapter/book, you look out into the world and you can see for miles the mountains, hills, the rivers and lakes, the star filled sky with the moon shining down so brightly. Off in the distance you can see the elk and deer trotting through the forest to find a place to rest for the night. You fall asleep and when morning comes you are greeted by the most beautiful sunrise imaginable. You start a campfire, make some breakfast and a cup of tea while you place your yoga mat on the ground and do yoga while everything is getting ready. After breakfast, tea/coffee, and yoga; you walk over to the lake with a towel in your hand and you strip off your clothes. Taking a dip into the lake, you feel refreshed, rejuvenated and calm. As you wash up in the lake, the glow from the sunrise welcomes you into a new day and a mist begins to fall into place around you. Grabbing your towel, you make your way back to your van to change into clothes, brush your hair and teeth. Then you can start your day by hiking, checking out the local museums, whatever your heart desires.

That is the best possible way that I can describe to anyone about why I cannot settle into one spot. It is nearly impossible, because I am wanting to constantly be somewhere new and explore. There is nothing wrong that whatsoever, some of us are meant to live that nomadic lifestyle. My dad is the polar opposite of me, he would rather put down some roots somewhere and stay there until he passes away. He loves to travel, but he wants to be able to have a home to come to. Whereas, my home is wherever I go, my home is what I take with me and where I live. I don’t have a town or state or even a country for that matter that I could call home. It is just who I am.

 

 

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Confessions of a 21st Century Woman

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A handwritten letter means more to me than some text message on my cell phone. One single yellow rose means more to me than a bouquet of red roses. A book from a bookstore means more to me than some alcoholic beverage at the bar. A simple heart who is a hopeless romantic is who I am. A 21st century woman born in the wrong time. One that craves chilvary, love, and complete utter passion in everything and in my everyday life. Although I am a worldly woman, have soared through the skies with my poetry, and have fought for the rights of others; this beating heart is and will always belong to a time of regency. Where the clothes were modest yet slightly revealing of the bosom; where the men were more like Colonel Brandon and Captain Wentworth, even if there were men like
Willoughby. But nowadays, there are more Willoughby’s and few Colonel Brandon’s and Captain Wentworth’s.

A feminist, I am. But I am also a woman who appreciates kind gestures, opening of doors and pulling out chairs, confessions of a person who expresses that he is so ardently in love with me.

No matter where I go, at least three books come along. Each of different settings, characters and genre. My beating heart, intelligent mind and enlightening soul would much rather walk around outside with a book in my hand and listen to the birds chirp, watch the sun rise and set, and enjoy a nice picnic. Although it is now the 21at century, I was born in the 20th. Curly hair, a few tattoos, and an apartment filled with books. Even though this fact is true, my heart belongs in the regency era.

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Back to Who We Are

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Everyone on this planet dreams. Some dream in vivid color, some dream in black white, some can only see pitch black but are able to hear voices in their dreams. For me, my dreams are very much real. I can see details on the smallest things in my dreams; and if I get hurt on any specific part of my body in the dream, I end up waking up with a bruise or scar in that exact same spot. This has always happened to me.

Dreams (and or visions, some call them) are meant for us to work out our problems and sort through everything. In many cases, you will receive messages in your dreams that are clear and you will receive hidden messages. Each dream is different, just like everyone on this planet is different.
In order to really pay attention to what our dreams are trying to tell us, we should write it down. I do. I have a journal where I write down both my emotions and stressful life to my dreams. Because I know my dreams are trying to tell me something that I need to know. For example, last night’s dream was showing me of a path that is for me, and was trying to steer me clear from the house that had people getting it on and junk food all around. I saw on the path only a few other people who were meant for a similar life (both spiritually and everyday life). And I knew once I had woken up, something not only inside of me, but out here in the physical world was about to change for me.

Our dreams are our inner world’s and our inner selves trying to sort themselves out and to keep us on the right path that has been designated for us. Don’t just brush them off and say they are nonsense, because you are going to find out more about yourself and heal yourself in the process.