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Blooming Into Our True Characters

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From the day we were born we were beginning our journey into our lives on this planet we call home, and throughout each phase of our journey we would hit some bumps in the road, at times they would have us take a detour for a brief period of time, or they would just block us until the road was prepared. These bumps in our journey prepares us and molds us into the characters that we are meant to be, into the people whom we are to become as we get older.

As children we are vulnerable and susceptible to becoming anyone’s clay to be shaped into whomever someone choses, yet as we get into our rebellious teen years (yes, everyone was rebellious to a point) we try to break free from that vulnerable clay and start to mold our own selves. Bit by bit we end up molding ourselves, with the helps of our influences and the Universe, into the people who we are meant to be, into the characters that we are meant to play on this grand stage we call life. Sometimes while we are attempting to mold ourselves we get caught up in the grander scheme of things, and try to mold ourselves into what the media and society tells us to look like, and for awhile we will attempt to do such a thing, then when wake up we realize that it was the stupidest thing to do. So we take ourselves out of the equation and begin to mold ourselves once more, successfully we become the masterpiece that we were meant to be.

However we are not complete, we take ourselves throw the mold into the burner and watch it immortalize us into imperfect perfect molds that we are proud of, and it is truly then when we realize that we have become the character that we were meant to play, the clay mold that took so long to become the object of attention has suddenly become human.

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Why I’m a Feminist

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I am a feminist because I want to end unrealistic expectations for both men and women, there should not be some expectation to look like someone else to feel appreciated, to feel loved, to feel like we belong in some sort of “group”, this is not high school where they are focused on cliques, this is the real world that we live in, no two people look alike.

I am a feminist because I am tired of hearing, “Cool story, now go make me a sandwich” or “Real men don’t cry”, because these stereotypes are harmful to everyone around the world. Real men do cry, they have emotions just like the rest of us. And no one is your personal maid or slave, they are not obligated to make you a ‘sandwich’, you can go make it yourself.

I am a feminist because I want to end this horrible rape culture that we live in. Both men and women get raped, it is a proven fact. The problem is that not everyone realizes that men are also the victims to such abuse just like any other woman out there who gets raped and abused, they are terrified just like everyone else who endures physical, emotional, and mental abuse. To say that they don’t, is just down right ignorant.

I am a feminist because I want to end gender roles. In the past, roles to each gender were assigned, for men, they had to play with trucks, play in the dirt, get “manly” jobs, for women, they were told to play with dolls and have an easy bake oven, while dressing up in dresses and looking pretty. Young girls are allowed to play with toy trucks, and young boys are allowed to play with dolls that they find fun. There should be no roles assigned to anyone. If you like something, then by all means, do that hobby or get that outfit, just be you. I know several women who are welders, and they are badasses at their jobs, proving that they can do anything. I know a man who is a manicurist and he is phenomenal at his job, he chose that job because he loves it, he isn’t at a job that doesn’t love.

I am a feminist because I am sick and tired of people judging women based on their clothing, yet they gawk at a woman who wears a mini skirt and tank top, then catcall her. One, women are not objects to stare at, they are hardworking, intelligent, compassionate people, just like you. They are not meant to be stared down and made to feel inferior. Second, you have no say over what a woman wears, she wears what she wants to wear. It is her body, and you have no say over what she wears on her body. If she wants to wear a hijab, don’t you dare try to take it off to offend her. If she wants to wear a mini skirt, then let her wear that mini skirt. She wears articles of clothing because she is drawn to them and likes them. Same goes for men as well, if a man wants to wear a pink shirt, then don’t criticize him for it. If a man wears his pants saggy, let him, it is his body and he can wear whatever he wants just like women can.

I am a feminist because I am sick and tired of people comparing everyone to others and degrading others. Stop with the signs and memes that roam around Pinterest, Google, and other parts of the internet that say, “In a World of Kardashians, be a …..”.  Honestly, I don’t know much about the Kardashians, but to degrade them like that is wrong on many levels, you may not agree with their lifestyle, fashion sense, or moral compass, however you shouldn’t be degrading them and trying to raise another person up. Degrading others to feel better about yourself is just plain wrong and it shouldn’t be happening whatsoever. Comparing one person to another also needs to be put to an end, due to the fact that no two people are alike, it is nearly impossible, even twins are not alike on many levels.

I am a feminist because I believe in equal pay between men and women, based on education and experience, not based on what is between your legs. It shouldn’t matter if you are a man or a woman, it should matter on your education and experience. If a man and a woman both have a bachelor’s degree and also have ten years of experience, then they should get paid equally. Currently, women get paid $.75 to a man who gets paid $1.00.

I am a feminist because my feminine needs are not a luxury. Every woman since the dawn of time has had their premenstrual cycles, and they bleed for 5 to 7 days every 28 days. Tampons, pads, cups, whatever else is used out there, is viewed as a luxury. It is not a luxury. Stop hiking the percentage price to %40 tax.

I am a feminist because I want to protect all of those who are being forced to become child’s brides as 10 years old. I don’t believe in becoming a bride at such a young age. Back in the 1500’s men and women were betrothed at the age of birth, and were made to get married at once they were to be perceived as a man or woman. We live in the 21st century, and things need to change today.

This is just the icing on the cake as to why I am a feminist. This is extremely important to me, and should be important to everyone around the world. Why are you a feminist?

 

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The War on Our Bodies

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About seven years ago, I sat myself on my bed and decided that I was going to have a conversation with myself about myself, to finally heal. I grabbed my journal, a pen, and turned on some music. No one was home at the time, so this was a great time for me to do this. As soon as the pen touched the paper, a letter to myself began to take form. There were moments where I cried and there were moments where I laughed out loud. I just kept writing, it didn’t matter how long this entry was, and it didn’t matter how long it was taking, it had become highly therapeutic for me. I was finally having that conversation that I truly needed, the one that I had put off for years due to other commitments, but I had realized that this was something that needed to be done. This is was the conversation that I need to have to heal my mind, body, and soul.

Why? That was one of the questions that I had asked myself, why was I so hard on myself, and on my appearance. Why was I constantly picked on growing up for looking different from others? I was puzzled for awhile after I had asked myself this question. Then I realized, it was because of society and the media. They had been trying to brainwash me into thinking that since I didn’t look like a Victoria Angel’s model, that there was something terribly wrong with me. They had been trying to make me think that every inch of my skin was deformed. Once I had realized this, that was when I knew that the media and society was truly messed up. Placing the pen down and looking at the journal, I had realized a lot of things, one that everyone on this planet is so impressionable, regardless of age or gender. Another one was that everyone on this planet is unique and different, no two people are going to look alike, not even twins (granted that I already knew this, it had just appeared to me on another level). After that, I had decided to wage what you would call a war on the media and at society for brainwashing everyone into believing that they need to look a certain way to feel attractive. Not only that, I had decided that I wanted help others build better and healthier relationships with their bodies and finally feel comfortable with themselves and feel attractive. That was when I had created a ritual type of list for everyone to participate in, and today, I will share with you that list (in no particular order):

Stand in front of the mirror – After getting out of the shower, stand in front of the mirror, butt naked. While you stand there, I want you to look at every inch of your body and notice everything. After that, I want you to list 5 things that you love about yourself. These can be qualities that you already have, personality traits, physical attributes that you have that you think look amazing. Do this every day, and by the time it is the end of the year, your relationship with your body has become healthier.

Stretch to the sky – I am a certified Pilates Instructor and enjoy both yoga and Pilates, they help the body stretch and let the muscles relax after a long day at work. Participating in yoga or Pilates will help you connect with your body on a deeper level. You will see that you and your body are no longer at war with each other anymore.

Embrace your flaws – Everyone has flaws, and I mean everyone. Even the models that walk the runway to the prince’s and princesses of the world have flaws. Everyone has stretch marks and cellulite, that is what happens when you go through puberty, when you are pregnant, when you go through life in general; it is natural and nothing to freak out about.

Shut out the media/society- Let’s be honest, the media doesn’t know anything, their metaphorical head is shoved so far up their metaphorical rear end, that they cannot see that they are doing damage to each person in this society that we live in. They do not realize that they are part of the source of the problem that is consuming each person when it comes to body shaming someone. Turn away from the side of the world, and come over to the side of the world where you are accepted, where your body is accepted the way it is, and where you will not be judged. That is where you belong.

Accept your body the way it is – Everyone is unique and beautiful in their own way, and that means you too. In the end, you don’t need to be a certain way or look a certain way to be yourself.

Remember that the scale is inaccurate – That scale that you have in your bathroom, it is completely inaccurate. It does not take into consideration your organs, your time of the month (ladies), bone density. Also, there is one thing that the scale cannot tell you…. your worth. You are worth more than a number on a scale and some waist measurement that anyone gives you. You are worth more than all of that. In fact, your worth is so priceless that it would be hard to buy it from you. Remember that.

For all of those who want a bikini body – For all of you who wish to have the “perfect bikini body”, there is only one thing that I need to say to you. Put on that bikini and rock it.

Don’t listen to the body shamers – No matter how far we get in this life, with making an impact on stopping body shaming, there will always be those who feel the need to body shame others just because they are insecure with themselves and feel like they are justified with being able to make fun of others. Don’t listen to them and don’t let their rude comments on any of your social media accounts or in person destroy your beautiful aura. They are not worth your time. I would like to bring this up in this section, if you are going to take down a body shamer, do not body shame them – you will lower yourself to their level, and that’s not what you want to do. Keep this in mind, you are the only that decides your worth; not the scale in your bathroom, and certainly no body shamer that roams about in cyberspace.

Every body is beautiful – No matter what, there is always going to be those people who have decided to say that “bones are for dogs, meat is for men” or “people don’t like fat cows”. And honestly whenever I read something like that, I throw up in my mouth. There is no one body type that is more beautiful than the other. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, is beautiful.

Never be ashamed of your body, for your body is beautiful. There is nothing wrong with it, and don’t let anyone ever try to tear down your worth or strip you of your beauty that glows from the inside to  the outside.

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In the Dead of Night

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What is the first thing we do when we wake up each and every morning? We either turn on the television, grab a newspaper, or even get onto the internet. Most people catch up on the news due to the fact that it changes daily and new things happen all over the world in the dead of night, so as they get ready they will be able to hear the news playing throughout their homes while they rush around and grab whatever they are needing for that day.

Almost every morning on the news, the number one thing that seems to be an occurrence is violence. Women are being mutilated in specific parts of the world, gays are being lynched still in different regions of the world, and there are more mass shootings in the United States within the past ten years alone. Here is my question, why is there still violence? Why are there women’s genitalia getting mutilated? Why are the LGBT community still receiving hate and getting murdered around the world? Why are there mass shootings happening at least once a month? Why?

Women are strong; they are strong when they are educated, they are strong when the stand up for not only the rights for themselves but for others as well, and they are so strong that they can hold a baby inside of them for nine months then deliver that baby during intense hours of labor. Those who wish to make women feel inferior are inferior themselves. They do not see that even in the past thousands and thousands of years, women have ran civilizations and were considered priestess (ancient times of Europe and Asia). The LGBT community receives so much hate due to overly religious people who seem to think that they can judge another person’s love life. When in fact they are not allowed to do so at all. Yes, you may have your opinion, and yes you may express it. However to judge someone based on their sexual preference is ignorant. Just as it is ignorant to judge another person on how they dress or what they believe in. Everyone is different, I am completely different from my brother, yet we get a long very well.

The mass shootings have been getting out of hand. And before any of you start jumping down my throat about how we need to ban guns, let me say this; you could kill a person with a steak knife as well, so should we ban steak knives as well? The guns are merely just a weapon, I grew up around them due to the fact that my dad and his friends, and my brother go hunting and use guns to take down an elk. The person behind the gun is the problem, not the gun itself. Banning guns is not the problem, screening the applicants more effectively would help reduce the mass shootings. However there is the black market, and you can easily obtain a weapon that way, just as you can get a hit man or drugs on the black market. Guns are merely a pawn in the game of someone who is mentally incapable of coping with situations, it is truly the person behind the gun that kills another person.

Violence should not be escalating like this. Right now, I don’t have any kids, but I do have younger cousins who are growing up with this. They are being conditioned to think that this the only way to deal with situations. They are being conditioned to say, “Oh look another shooting” then go on with their day. Which to me it is horrific. We need to actually make a difference in this society of ours and actually do something to lower the violent rates. I am more of a pacifist, however I will say this, if I were put in a dangerous situation I would fight to keep my life and keep the lives of others. It is part of my personality to protect others and make sure that they are safe.

What say you? Are you going to just look at your television every morning and just be conditioned like the rest of the society to just accept these horrific violent rates? Or are you going to stand up against it and make a difference for the future generations to come?

 

**Drawing by Abby (Pinterest)

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Becoming Comfortable In Your Skin

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Tall, petite, apple shaped, hourglass shaped, thin, fat; everyone is different this is a fact. Yet, predominantly here in the United States, everyone is told that they must cover up unless they are considered perfect in the eyes of the social media. And with this happening, everyone is becoming extremely insecure about their bodies and about who they are as a person.

That is what I was thinking about over this past weekend. I was thinking about the horrible impact that the media has been inflicting onto our society and inside our minds. And quite frankly, it sickens me. The impact is mainly here in the states, but it is slowly starting to make its way to the other countries. However, I noticed something. Over in Europe, everyone is more comfortable in their skin. They are not afraid to bare their skin and show what their parents gave them. They live in countries that are more about promoting positive body images, instead of tearing a person down. Which is utterly brilliant.
For the longest time, I was just like everyone else here in the states. I looked at my body with dissatisfaction. But now, I look at my body and my outlook on myself and my life has changed drastically. I see my body as a strong soft temple that I can finally love. And with that, parts of my life has changed drastically, in a good way of course. And I want to show everyone how to embrace their own bodies and to stop listening to the media.

1. Accept your own body shape and size.
Everyone is shaped differently and different sizes. I’m petite and have soft curves, whereas I have friends who are tall and skinny. Everyone is different, there is no reason to compare yourself to others. It will make you miserable. Forget the labels. They don’t represent you as a whole.

2. Adopt the European attitude.
Embrace your masculinity or femininity. Embrace the fact that you have a beautiful temple that is your body and just show it that you love it dearly.

3. Birthday suiting up.
Now, I’m not saying you should go to your local grocery store and be completely naked. You will get thrown in jail for that. What I am saying is, go nude in your home or apartment. Forget the clothes. Clothes are an obligation for when you are in public. But in the privacy of your own place, strip out of your clothes and do everything in the nude. I do it all the time and find it invigorating. You can get your husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend to get in on it. But wouldn’t recommend doing it in front of your children unless you establish some rules first.

4. You are enough!
You are enough. You are beautiful to me. No matter how small or big you may be. But here is the thing, you don’t need validation from me or anyone else. You just need validation from yourself. That’s all you need.
I’m not the most beautiful woman in the world, but I see myself as cute and pretty; and I’m perfectly content with that. If you see yourself as beautiful then the whole world will see it as well.

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Modestly Sexy

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Recently I have read an article about Dr. Mayim Bialik, who is best known as Blossom or as Amy on the Big Bang Theory, and the article had to do with her religious background and on dressing modestly. Now, I’m not going to get into her being a conservative Jew, due to the fact that I am a Kabbalistic Jew and I have the utmost respect for Ms. Bialik. However this is due to the fact that she dresses modestly, which by the way, I love. She knows that she doesn’t need to show off her skin in order to be beautiful. In fact, I think she is beautiful in the clothes she wears, and love her confidence. However, Hollywood and the media have decided to take it upon themselves to declare that in order to be beautiful, you should showcase every inch of your skin. Which I think is outrageous. I don’t believe in that for one second.

When you opened up to this post and saw the pictures, what did you notice? Did you see a girl or guy naked? No. You saw two different girls in two different outfits. Those outfits are what I consider, SEXY MODEST. They are sexy in a very subtle way with the tailor fitting and also with the playful colors. They are also modest as well. The dress does showcase the upper back, which is amazing, because I could use a tan if I’m wearing that dress. But it isn’t showing off every inch of the skin. Ironically enough, I have those two outfits but they are different colors, and love them.

I am one of the few people who are against having to show every inch of skin just to feel sexy. I’m comfortable with my body, as much a person is, and prefer to do things my own way. I have thrown sexy subtly into my wardrobe and created something that I’m comfortable with. Now, I don’t wear the same bathing suit as Ms. Bialik, I wear a one piece swimsuit that has a halter top to it and exposes my upper back and shows off my legs. It is modest to me, because it covers the major areas but I feel sexy in it because of the cut of the fabric and designs.
When it comes to fashion, I know nothing. I’m just eclectic. However, I do not judge anyone’s wardrobe, because that is their wardrobe and they can do whatever they want; but I have to say this: don’t wear clothes just because Hollywood and the media tell you that you will be beautiful if you show off everything. It will damage your psyche and your personality.
Make your wardrobe your own. But just remember, in order to be sexy, just have confidence. That’s the true key.

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A New Change For Our Country

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      Just this past week, gay marriage equality was finalized and now the entire LGBT community can finally get married. You have no idea how happy this makes me. It makes me ecstatic and overwhelmed. Once I had heard the news, my heart began to pound and I jumped up and down with joy.

      My entire life, I’ve always been an activist. Especially for equality for everyone in the world. I have always believed that everyone should be able to marry the one that they love, no matter the gender and race.
        I come from a family who most of them are against my views and are extremely religious. They are more against the equality that everyone deserves. Yes, they have their opinion, but here is the thing; it doesn’t affect anyone else if you are in love with someone who is of the same sex. I’m a human. A human who loves other humans. I don’t like labels and if you were to label me, it would be bisexual. I find men and women extremely attractive and if I want to marry a woman, I can finally do that now. And that makes me happy. I’m a Jewish woman, and many of you know this about me. But I’m the type of Jewish woman who believes love is love, no matter what.

       This is a new day and age, and in this time and from this day forward, it’s time for equality. Not just marriage equality, but equality for everyone in general all around the world. No one should be afraid. No one should have to be unhappy and not able to be with someone that they love. I’m excited that this equality has finally happened.