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My Brand New Poetry Book

Good morning everyone! I wanted to apologize for not writing a whole lot, this month has been very hectic due to work, studying for my Master’s, and working on the release of this new poetry book.

Today my brand new poetry book, Hearts of Glass, has been released by my amazing publisher, Middle Island Press. I have been working with the publishing press for the past couple of years, and they are truly amazing. They have given me the opportunity to release my poems out to all of you, and it had always been a dream of mine. I truly cannot thank then enough for letting me see my dream become a reality.

Hearts of Glass is poetry book that dives into the reality of the affairs of the heat. Showcasing just how fragile our hearts are, showcasing when we fall in love, out of love, and endure the most hurtful heartbreaks. And everyone can relate to many of the poems.

You can get your copy of my new poetry book on Amazon, and soon it will be available in select stores around the world.

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Emerald Eyes (Poem)

Walking into the café
I approach the counter,
to only be greeted by your deep emerald eyes,
making my heart flutter.

Shooting you a smile,
you smile back,
then take my order,
finally leaving me at the counter,
as you begin to fill the mug even higher.

Reaching for the mug
our eyes meet,
with the hustling and bustling stopping,
giving us a moment to breathe,
while being stuck in the silence.

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An Old Fashioned Love

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“Your friendship can’t satisfy me, Anne. I want your love. ” Gilbert Blythe  (Anne of Green Gables )

When I was nine years old, I picked up the first Anne of Green Gables book and began to read it. I fell in love with all of the characters, and saw a lot of myself in the main character, Anne Shirley. Despite our physical differences and me being more introverted, I felt that the character and I were one. As I continued to read the entire series, I started to really like Gilbert Blythe, Anne’s love interest. His compassionate heart, lively soul, spunk, humor, intellect, and overall character. All I can say is that Lucy Maud Montgomery wrote this character very well.
Gilbert Blythe and many other male characters from other books (Colonel Brandon, John Rochester, Mr. Darcy) had given me high standards for finding the one true love for me. And when I had begun dating, it seemed like I was on a mission of some sort to find my own “Gilbert Blythe ” or “Colonel Brandon”. And trust me, high school was rough enough with the bullies, but the dating scene was rough as well. Guys cheated on me left and right, because I wouldn’t put out. College rolled around and I dated, but just like in high school, they all cheated. I didn’t know why, I was no longer a virgin (lost it at 20 years old ), but I still didn’t put out no matter who I was dating.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, at the age of twenty four years old and suddenly had an epiphany of what had been going on my entire dating life. Even though I was attracted to a specific type of guy, I saw these guys that I had dated as “lost and broken”. I wanted to fix them. Awh, the bad boy dilemma. It happens to nearly everyone. Regardless of a person being gay, straight or lesbian. You see the “bad boy or girl” persona and want to fix them, thinking you can turn them into the person you wish to be with. And you know you can’t, but you try and you try.

After I had this epiphany, I began to write in my journal (yes, I’m in my mid 20’s, but it helps me) and started to realize that I had steered off the path in middle school. Even though I had been reading those classic novels, and still had major crushes on the literary characters of my childhood, I wanted to fix those bad boys. I finally found myself again in my love life. I finally saw in my own handwriting what I wanted in a man who I would call my life long partner, lover, best friend. And saw that I still upheld the characteristics and personality traits that I looked for as a kid. But I also saw that my tastes in outward appearance changed. Still the rugged with a trimmed beard, hands on, and  tattoo’s stayed the same, but a sense of simple outdoors fashion added (and I guess what you call Indie thrown in). I noticed that I had written “courtship” in my journal. Still old fashioned, not a lot of people do that, but I like the idea of being courted before dating to see if it is worth pursuing a relationship with a person. It might seem silly to most of my readers, but I’ve always fancied it. I know a guy friend who courted his now husband before dating and they’ve been together for more than thirty years and more in love each day.
The ways of the heart is complicated; we don’t know why we have a specific type, why we want to fix the bad boy or girl, or why we have a set of standards for ourselves. But the heart wants what the heart wants, and it’s best to follow it. Even if for a time where we must try to “fix” others, before getting back on track.

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Forgiveness

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Forgiveness. Forgiveness is one of the main things a person must do in order to finally be content, to be able to feel lifted, to be able to live their lives without fearing judgment not only from others but from themselves. It can be hard. Forgiving someone who has wronged you, who has hurt you in the most vile way possible can be the most hardest thing in the word. You fear that if you do forgive someone, you will be seen as in denial, weak and incompetent. But alas, you will not be seen as weak, you will be seen as a strong person who has decided to not have hate harbor your heart, mind and soul.

Harboring hate inside ones soul is a nuisance, it is not something that should be there. Love, gentleness, peace; those are things that should be residing in your heart, mind and soul. They are the ones that make you strong. They are the ones that give you the ability to trudge forward and be the person you are meant to be. Yes, there are people who have wronged you. Yes, there are people who have hurt you in some unmentionable ways. But to harbor such hate for them, is to harbor hate for yourself. You may feel like you could never forgive such vile acts, but you are not one to judge their actions. They are to be judged by their actions by whomever they believe in, whether it be God, Allah, Buddha, or any other spiritual leader. It is your duty to not judge, but to forgive. You can be weary all you want, be on your guard, as you should be. But forgiveness is what will set you free from hurting yourself internally and externally. For if you harbor such an emotion, you will be unable to love yourself, you will be unable to heal properly. Hate and judgment are two emotions that are natural inside a person’s mind and heart, because they are emotions that all feel. Yet, if you truly think about it. Once you have decided to forgive them, once you have decided to not pass judgment on them, you will be free. They will receive their judgment from their deities and receive whatever punishment awaits them in whatever spiritual realm they believe in. As I said before, it is not your place to harbor hate, anger or judgment in your heart, mind or soul. It is your place to harbor compassion, strength, and generosity in your heart.

It will be hard to forgive those who have wronged you, but slowly work on it. For the longest time I was angry for those who had wronged me, who had hurt me, who had cheated. But then, one day, I began to forgive them, one by one. I knew in my heart that for me to harbor such a raw, powerful, and terrifying emotion, it would make me bitter and I would someday turn against all those who I had wished to help and love. Forgiving is the first step to healing, healing the problem at hand, healing the past, and overall healing you.

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Just A Dream

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    I would be browsing the bookstore or library, searching for a new book to read. As I walked down each aisle, looking high and low, I wouldn’t notice anyone around me, for my eyes would be fixated on the thousands of books on the shelves before me. Then out of nowhere, a tall rugged gentleman would come up to me and hand me a book, a romance historical book to be exact. A conversation would take place, and suddenly we would be walking around the place, talking about books, authors, and art. Then it would be time for both of us to part, but before we did, we exchanged numbers and he kissed my hand. A courtship would occur, and we would both be so ardently in love with each other.

This is the romantic dream that I always had when I was growing up. I would daydream about it in class, or as I was in the corner of the library while I read. Hopeless romantic, is the ultimate word to describe who I am. It sums me up perfectly in every aspect of my life. I look at art and I see passion and see horror, it’s part of the romance inside of me. When I write, I write about love and about people’s quirks and flaws a person falls in love with. When I write, I write in a gothic-romantic setting, it’s just how I view the world around us.
Sadly though, being a hopeless romantic has made it hard for me to find my “Mr. Darcy” or “Colonel Brandon”.
You see, we live in a time where everyone is hitting on each other at bars or resort to online dating (not judging, it is meant for some but not others), and for myself, I cannot go through with it. I’ve tried, but failed because of numerous reasons. And with that, I’ve given up.

If you are a hopeless romantic, don’t give up just because I did. I’m sure there are nice guys who you like, you just need to weed them out and find your true love.

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Matters of the Heart

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Everyone is different, this is true. I’m completely different from my sister’s and my brother’s, and different from my co-workers when it comes to the matters of the heart. Most people think about their wedding day. They think about every detail, down to the lingerie that they will wear. Whereas, I do not. What lies in my heart, is what I want.

I don’t want some expensive engagement ring, it’s not important to me. I don’t want to spend thousands of dollars just to marry the person of my dreams. The design of my future wedding dress does not plague my mind. The supposed perfect six pack is not on my list of important things to look for in a partner. A dozen of expensive roses turns me off, as does jewelry, I do not want that.

However, what does feel my heart is finding the person I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with, and waking up next to them every morning. Able to read books with them, and have intellectual conversations. Have full on warfare with squirt guns throughout the house. Experiencing life and travel. If a wedding occurs, no need to have expensive rings; simple ones with meaning are better and hand fasting will take place. Spirituality and openness is in my heart. A few picked wild flowers are more intimate and thoughtful, and I appreciate those more than expensive roses. A home cooked meal or picnic after a hike is more romantic than a five star restaurant. Humor, compassionate, hearty appetite, family man, intellect, spiritual is more important than a six pack. Will not lie; tall, accent, strong (like a blacksmith or a highlander athlete) is a plus, but six packs are a no-no. Personality, intellect, and humour are more important than superficial looks.

The matters of my heart, are bound to be different from yours, and that’s perfectly fine. Never feel guilty that you are different from others, that will tear you up. Stay true to you.

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Love All

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For those who know me very well know that I’m not one to hate a person. Hate is actually not really part of my vocabulary. If I do not like something or someone, I dislike them and find them ignorant. Instead, my friends and family know that there are two sides to me, heal or destroy. I love to help others. Help countries, animals and create a utopian society for future generations. When it comes to destroying something, that only happens when my loved ones are being threatened. Now, most people know that I see everyone on this planet as a daughter, son, brother or sister. I can’t help it. I’m hardwired to see everyone like that. Therefore, I’m going to love everyone. But, when it comes to extremists around the world, then I tend to destroy them and put them in their place. As an introvert, this shocks a few people. But it’s just how I am, and how I deal with things.

Everyone is currently saying that all Muslims deserve to die. No, no they do not. Not all Muslims are these horrible people that you see on the news. The ones that you see on the news are extremists and were not taught love. They were taught violence and ignorance.
I have a few friends who are Muslim and we get along very well. No fights break out between us. We respect one another and want to see peace in this world.
“Love all people.” My grandpa Prentice told me multiple times when I was growing up (also name of his band). And he is right. In order to make peace with one another, you must love everyone. Yes, there are extremists all over the world. They are part of the Muslim, Christian, Catholic, etc faiths. But not all are bad. Remember that.