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Last Night I Forgave Myself (Poem)

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Last night I forgave myself,
it was something I had never done before,
something that I never thought would happen,
something that came out of nowhere.
Last night I forgave myself,
for all of the harsh words I once spoke
the words that I spoke to my body,
the words that I spoke to my mind,
the words that I spoke to my heart.

Last night I finally forgave myself
and told my reflection in the mirror
that I would never do such a thing again,
I finally forgave myself,
and now, I am content.

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Why I’m a Feminist

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I am a feminist because I want to end unrealistic expectations for both men and women, there should not be some expectation to look like someone else to feel appreciated, to feel loved, to feel like we belong in some sort of “group”, this is not high school where they are focused on cliques, this is the real world that we live in, no two people look alike.

I am a feminist because I am tired of hearing, “Cool story, now go make me a sandwich” or “Real men don’t cry”, because these stereotypes are harmful to everyone around the world. Real men do cry, they have emotions just like the rest of us. And no one is your personal maid or slave, they are not obligated to make you a ‘sandwich’, you can go make it yourself.

I am a feminist because I want to end this horrible rape culture that we live in. Both men and women get raped, it is a proven fact. The problem is that not everyone realizes that men are also the victims to such abuse just like any other woman out there who gets raped and abused, they are terrified just like everyone else who endures physical, emotional, and mental abuse. To say that they don’t, is just down right ignorant.

I am a feminist because I want to end gender roles. In the past, roles to each gender were assigned, for men, they had to play with trucks, play in the dirt, get “manly” jobs, for women, they were told to play with dolls and have an easy bake oven, while dressing up in dresses and looking pretty. Young girls are allowed to play with toy trucks, and young boys are allowed to play with dolls that they find fun. There should be no roles assigned to anyone. If you like something, then by all means, do that hobby or get that outfit, just be you. I know several women who are welders, and they are badasses at their jobs, proving that they can do anything. I know a man who is a manicurist and he is phenomenal at his job, he chose that job because he loves it, he isn’t at a job that doesn’t love.

I am a feminist because I am sick and tired of people judging women based on their clothing, yet they gawk at a woman who wears a mini skirt and tank top, then catcall her. One, women are not objects to stare at, they are hardworking, intelligent, compassionate people, just like you. They are not meant to be stared down and made to feel inferior. Second, you have no say over what a woman wears, she wears what she wants to wear. It is her body, and you have no say over what she wears on her body. If she wants to wear a hijab, don’t you dare try to take it off to offend her. If she wants to wear a mini skirt, then let her wear that mini skirt. She wears articles of clothing because she is drawn to them and likes them. Same goes for men as well, if a man wants to wear a pink shirt, then don’t criticize him for it. If a man wears his pants saggy, let him, it is his body and he can wear whatever he wants just like women can.

I am a feminist because I am sick and tired of people comparing everyone to others and degrading others. Stop with the signs and memes that roam around Pinterest, Google, and other parts of the internet that say, “In a World of Kardashians, be a …..”.  Honestly, I don’t know much about the Kardashians, but to degrade them like that is wrong on many levels, you may not agree with their lifestyle, fashion sense, or moral compass, however you shouldn’t be degrading them and trying to raise another person up. Degrading others to feel better about yourself is just plain wrong and it shouldn’t be happening whatsoever. Comparing one person to another also needs to be put to an end, due to the fact that no two people are alike, it is nearly impossible, even twins are not alike on many levels.

I am a feminist because I believe in equal pay between men and women, based on education and experience, not based on what is between your legs. It shouldn’t matter if you are a man or a woman, it should matter on your education and experience. If a man and a woman both have a bachelor’s degree and also have ten years of experience, then they should get paid equally. Currently, women get paid $.75 to a man who gets paid $1.00.

I am a feminist because my feminine needs are not a luxury. Every woman since the dawn of time has had their premenstrual cycles, and they bleed for 5 to 7 days every 28 days. Tampons, pads, cups, whatever else is used out there, is viewed as a luxury. It is not a luxury. Stop hiking the percentage price to %40 tax.

I am a feminist because I want to protect all of those who are being forced to become child’s brides as 10 years old. I don’t believe in becoming a bride at such a young age. Back in the 1500’s men and women were betrothed at the age of birth, and were made to get married at once they were to be perceived as a man or woman. We live in the 21st century, and things need to change today.

This is just the icing on the cake as to why I am a feminist. This is extremely important to me, and should be important to everyone around the world. Why are you a feminist?

 

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An Herbalist Advice: Herbal Baths II

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For those who enjoy taking baths, like myself, thoroughly enjoy being covered by the hot water floating over our bodies, while we listen to music, and have a candle or two lit; this post is about the different type of herbs and flowers that you can add to the bath, to create a soothing and relaxing environment around you. These are just a few different types of recipes that you can use when you do an herbal bath.

**All recipes are equal parts, so if you do 1/2 cup of lavender, then you do 1/2 cup with whatever else the other ingredient is.  Unless stated with the recipe.**

Bedtime Bath
Chamomile
Epsom Salt
Passionflower
Linden

Love Yourself Bath
1 part Clove
2 parts Coriander
3 parts Jasmine
1 part Ginger

Detox Naturally
1 cup Epsom Salt
1 cup Baking Soda
2 tablespoon Coconut Oil
5-6 drops of Rose Essential Oil
5-6 drops of Frankincense Essential Oil

Remote in Nature Bath
1 cup Epsom Salt
1/2 cup Baking Soda
1/4 cup of Sea Salt
4 drops of Lavender Essential Oil
4 drops of Cedarwood Essential Oil

I will post more herbal bath recipes at a later date, for now here are these ones. If you wish to know a few more recipes, or oils for the bath, message me and I will give you them.

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The War on Our Bodies

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About seven years ago, I sat myself on my bed and decided that I was going to have a conversation with myself about myself, to finally heal. I grabbed my journal, a pen, and turned on some music. No one was home at the time, so this was a great time for me to do this. As soon as the pen touched the paper, a letter to myself began to take form. There were moments where I cried and there were moments where I laughed out loud. I just kept writing, it didn’t matter how long this entry was, and it didn’t matter how long it was taking, it had become highly therapeutic for me. I was finally having that conversation that I truly needed, the one that I had put off for years due to other commitments, but I had realized that this was something that needed to be done. This is was the conversation that I need to have to heal my mind, body, and soul.

Why? That was one of the questions that I had asked myself, why was I so hard on myself, and on my appearance. Why was I constantly picked on growing up for looking different from others? I was puzzled for awhile after I had asked myself this question. Then I realized, it was because of society and the media. They had been trying to brainwash me into thinking that since I didn’t look like a Victoria Angel’s model, that there was something terribly wrong with me. They had been trying to make me think that every inch of my skin was deformed. Once I had realized this, that was when I knew that the media and society was truly messed up. Placing the pen down and looking at the journal, I had realized a lot of things, one that everyone on this planet is so impressionable, regardless of age or gender. Another one was that everyone on this planet is unique and different, no two people are going to look alike, not even twins (granted that I already knew this, it had just appeared to me on another level). After that, I had decided to wage what you would call a war on the media and at society for brainwashing everyone into believing that they need to look a certain way to feel attractive. Not only that, I had decided that I wanted help others build better and healthier relationships with their bodies and finally feel comfortable with themselves and feel attractive. That was when I had created a ritual type of list for everyone to participate in, and today, I will share with you that list (in no particular order):

Stand in front of the mirror – After getting out of the shower, stand in front of the mirror, butt naked. While you stand there, I want you to look at every inch of your body and notice everything. After that, I want you to list 5 things that you love about yourself. These can be qualities that you already have, personality traits, physical attributes that you have that you think look amazing. Do this every day, and by the time it is the end of the year, your relationship with your body has become healthier.

Stretch to the sky – I am a certified Pilates Instructor and enjoy both yoga and Pilates, they help the body stretch and let the muscles relax after a long day at work. Participating in yoga or Pilates will help you connect with your body on a deeper level. You will see that you and your body are no longer at war with each other anymore.

Embrace your flaws – Everyone has flaws, and I mean everyone. Even the models that walk the runway to the prince’s and princesses of the world have flaws. Everyone has stretch marks and cellulite, that is what happens when you go through puberty, when you are pregnant, when you go through life in general; it is natural and nothing to freak out about.

Shut out the media/society- Let’s be honest, the media doesn’t know anything, their metaphorical head is shoved so far up their metaphorical rear end, that they cannot see that they are doing damage to each person in this society that we live in. They do not realize that they are part of the source of the problem that is consuming each person when it comes to body shaming someone. Turn away from the side of the world, and come over to the side of the world where you are accepted, where your body is accepted the way it is, and where you will not be judged. That is where you belong.

Accept your body the way it is – Everyone is unique and beautiful in their own way, and that means you too. In the end, you don’t need to be a certain way or look a certain way to be yourself.

Remember that the scale is inaccurate – That scale that you have in your bathroom, it is completely inaccurate. It does not take into consideration your organs, your time of the month (ladies), bone density. Also, there is one thing that the scale cannot tell you…. your worth. You are worth more than a number on a scale and some waist measurement that anyone gives you. You are worth more than all of that. In fact, your worth is so priceless that it would be hard to buy it from you. Remember that.

For all of those who want a bikini body – For all of you who wish to have the “perfect bikini body”, there is only one thing that I need to say to you. Put on that bikini and rock it.

Don’t listen to the body shamers – No matter how far we get in this life, with making an impact on stopping body shaming, there will always be those who feel the need to body shame others just because they are insecure with themselves and feel like they are justified with being able to make fun of others. Don’t listen to them and don’t let their rude comments on any of your social media accounts or in person destroy your beautiful aura. They are not worth your time. I would like to bring this up in this section, if you are going to take down a body shamer, do not body shame them – you will lower yourself to their level, and that’s not what you want to do. Keep this in mind, you are the only that decides your worth; not the scale in your bathroom, and certainly no body shamer that roams about in cyberspace.

Every body is beautiful – No matter what, there is always going to be those people who have decided to say that “bones are for dogs, meat is for men” or “people don’t like fat cows”. And honestly whenever I read something like that, I throw up in my mouth. There is no one body type that is more beautiful than the other. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, is beautiful.

Never be ashamed of your body, for your body is beautiful. There is nothing wrong with it, and don’t let anyone ever try to tear down your worth or strip you of your beauty that glows from the inside to  the outside.

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Sweat a Little Bit (Workout Playlist)

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It is time to put on our gym clothes and go for our workouts and pump some iron or do some cardio. Before we can do that, we normally scroll through Youtube to find the videos to listen to while working out to get us pumped up and keep us that way during the entire duration. Some people don’t know what kind of music to play and just wing it with whatever they come across, which is perfectly fine. You don’t need some magic playlist that was created by another person. This playlist should reflect your taste in music and also the type of workout you are doing. Just for fun I’ve created a workout playlist for anyone who wishes to add these songs and just have fun while working out. ** Remember, don’t make working out feel like it is a chore, make it feel like you are about to have a ton of fun (you are). I have fun when I lift weights, do squats, run, etc.

  1. Can’t Sleep Love – Pentatonix
  2. Dangerous Woman- Ariana Grande
  3. Killer – Baby K featuring Tiziano Ferro
  4. Fix- Chris Lane
  5. Chica Bomb- Dan Balan
  6. Cake by the Ocean – DNCE
  7. Sweet Child O’ Mine – Guns N’ Roses
  8. Hands to Myself – Selena Gomez
  9. We Will Rock You – Queen
  10. Sparks – Hilary Duff
  11. Papi – Jennifer Lopez
  12. Sexy back – Justin Timberlake
  13. Dark Horse – Katy Perry
  14. Come With Me Now – KONGOS
  15. Take A Chance On Me – ABBA
  16. Sex and Candy – Marcy Playground
  17. Me Too – Megan Trainor
  18. Disintegration – Monarchy
  19. Sway – Rosemary Clooney
  20. Switch – Will Smith

 

Yes, some of these songs are classics and some of these songs are more modern and from different genres. That’s the whole point of this playlist. You don’t have to use this one per se, however they are fun to workout to and just sweat off the toxins and the bad day that you probably had.

Put in your headphones and get to your workout and have fun.

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Love Your Body

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By grade 7, most young boys and girls have found cosmopolitan magazines, maxim, playboy, or any other magazine that you can think of that has models spread out everywhere and showcasing their bodies to the world. By grade 10, more than 40% of the student body has begun a diet. Whether it be some fad diet like Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem, Atkins, or the “only an apple and some crackers” diet. Teenage girls try to look a Victoria’s Secret model and the teenage boys try to beef up and try to look like a Zac Efron or like Marky Mark (Mark Wahlberg for those who didn’t grow up in the 90’s). Why? The reason is due to the fact that society is telling them that in order to have the “perfect” body, they need to look like someone that is on steroids, I am not saying that either Mark or Zac take steroids, I am just pointing out that is what they look like.

Right now, there is some teenage sixteen year old girl in the bathroom at her school puking up her breakfast just because she wants to look like some model who struts on the runway. And right now, I guarantee you that there is some boy who is lacing his protein shakes with steroids to pump up his muscles just so he can look like his idol. That isn’t healthy. Far from it. In fact, what these teenagers are doing is destroying  their bodies. And they don’t realize it. Instead, all they are worried about is trying to fit into societies views of what they should look like. They do not realize that they are already handsome and beautiful. They do not need to lose the weight nor do they need to pump up the muscles. Instead what they need to do is to develop a healthy body relationship.

When I was in my freshman year of high school, I ate the food around my family and then when I was away from them, I threw it up. Why? Because I was going through the same thing that these young teenagers are going through. I wanted to look like some model and be beautiful. At the time, I didn’t realize that I was already pretty. I was just so consumed with thinking I was fat and ugly, that I didn’t realize that I had a lot more to offer. One day at school, I didn’t eat lunch and all I did was just sit in front of my locker just reading a book until a girl who was year older than me came up to me and told me that I was going to start eating right again because she didn’t want to lose me. I am grateful to her, and to this day, I am still friends with her on Facebook and I don’t know what I would do without her. I had a good support system and I was shown that I didn’t need to feel bad about my body and I definitely shouldn’t have compared my body to another persons body. Because everyone’s body is completely different from one another. I have an amazing friend who is considered to be one of my sisters and she is naturally skinny, it is in her genetics. And she is healthy as can be. In fact, she had given birth to two beautiful girls and they are healthy as well. Her body is gorgeous, but do you know what is even more gorgeous about her… her personality and her character. She is one of the most beautiful people I know on the inside and out, and she doesn’t care what others think of her body. And trust me when I say this, she has been the subject to much ridicule from others just because she is naturally skinny, and honestly what they are doing is horrible. In my personal opinion, they need to shut up, sit down and start acting like adults. But that is just my opinion after all. I have another friend who is a little bit shorter than me and she is curvy. But do you know what….she rocks those curves and she embraces them. With that body of hers she had brought into this world three beautiful boys who I call my nephews. There have been people who ridicule her body and honestly they can take those hurtful words and shove them up their a**es.

Many of you know that I am very adamant about having a healthy body image. I am all about eating right and exercising, but there is one more thing that I am extremely adamant about, and that is being happy in the body that you are in. You may be short and skinny or you might tall and curvy, it doesn’t matter, as long as you are truly content in the body that you are in that is all that matters. Yes, eating good food is great for body, yes getting the exercise that your body needs helps you stay healthy; but the most important thing that helps you throughout life is to have a happy outlook on your body, embrace the flaws that make you unique and take pride in the fact that no one on this planet has that amazing body that you already have.