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Leap (Poem)

It is always nothing
yet it is everything,
the stillness in the sadness leaps forward
trying to capture me as I fall slowly
as everybody becomes blurry
and I become nothing but a distant memory.

The area is completely clear
showcasing the distant stars to the right
and jagged rocks to the left,
making me wonder which side I’ll jump,
which side will welcome my presence.

Never know until I take the leap,
Never know until I move my feet,
here it goes,
here I go into the unknown.

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Proceed with Caution (Poem)

Warning, warning!
Proceed with extreme caution,
one more step and they’ll put on the parental locks.
They don’t want to speak of it,
they dont want to have the discussion,
no they just want to push it aside,
and add more stigma on it.

What are you afraid of?
Afraid to acknowledge it?
Afraid to admit you were wrong about it?
Stop telling everyone that there is something wrong with us,
that we require to be treated as though we are dolls.
No, instead say it,
I dare you,
say the two words,
mental illness.

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Seeking Answers in Mother Nature

For the past month, I haven’t really written a lot of posts for this site, nor have I really posted anything on my social media accounts, due to the fact that I have been in the process adjusting to my new job, new town, and new state. On top of that, I needed the time to take care of myself, to focus on my health and mentality, and to dive into my art and dreams. 

We’ve all been there, a new place where things seem foreign, a place of isolation even if we know a few people there, a time where we feel a little bit lost and are looking for the right path for us to take, hoping that we can find some sort of guidance to help us out. That’s where I’ve been for the past month. Don’t get me wrong, I love Alaska, it’s truly magnificent and outrageously beautiful. But there has been a few moments of, “is this truly where I’m supposed to be right now?” And so this past month, I had been going out into nature, talking to Mother Earth and seeking answers to my questions, and she answered. 

Being linked to Mother Earth, Father Sky, and my ancestors that roamed around the forests, hills, and mountains, it keeps me grounded, and gives me the ability to receive answers in my dreams. Sometimes they don’t make sense when I’m having the dream, but once they become reality, then I completely understand what they were trying to tell me. And that was what I was dealing with, I had received the answers that I was looking for. 

Not only that, I have been focus on my health and well being, by eating a little differently, going out into nature more since I live just half a mile from a trail that leads up into the mountains. There I can breathe, just stand in silence, and just be happy and healthy once more. 

Sometimes, we just need to step away from our electronic devices, social media accounts, and websites to heal ourselves before we can communicate with others and help others.

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Paint me in Orange: Art Therapy

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Many of you know that Mental Health Awareness Month is not until October, however, we shouldn’t be discussing it only during one month. It should be a topic that should be discussed frequently, and not just only during a designated month. Mental Health is one of the few topics that most people do not want to discuss, due to the fact that they are afraid of the topic, afraid of the reality of illnesses that plague nearly 43 Million Americans alone.

When it comes to mental health, the most common treatment is either prescription or seeing a therapist. Personally, I go to see a therapist once a week to help with my own health problems, and it is nice to have a conversation with an outsider (3rd party) that is a professional and that could help me cope with things. Besides seeing a therapist, I participate in what is called, “Art Therapy”. I’ve been doing art therapy for years now, with my poems and novels to my paintings, and it is truly a great therapeutic approach to helping oneself.

Art therapy comes in so many different ways: painting, writing, drawing, knitting, sewing, playing instruments, singing. Just about anything in the art community can be turned into a therapy session for someone. Art therapy is usually overlooked by most people, because they seem to call it hogwash, which it isn’t. It is highly effective, especially for those who wish to put their thoughts and emotions onto something that is pure white with no speck of any word or color splashed on it. Art therapy gives the person a chance to show their inner self, the emotions and thoughts that they currently having, and put them onto a canvas or on paper. Having this ability to throw your emotions and thoughts onto paper can help relieve you from the weight that has been placed on you, giving you a chance to breathe, and letting you be able to, in that moment, feel stress free.

If you ever feel that you are overwhelmed by the emotions and thoughts that have been plaguing you, grab a paintbrush, a pen, or knitting needles; because you can help get rid of those unwanted thoughts while concentrating on something that you enjoy.

 

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Art in the Dark

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(To the End – Me)

The way I see it, is that the heart, the soul and the mind constantly fight each other. This in turn makes everything more difficult. The brain wishes to overrun everything, though when this happens a war begins. When the heart wishes to run the entire system, then heartbreaks occur more than average. When the soul wishes to be the front force and be the leader and forget everything else, then the human being is confused and has no clue as to what is occurring. Sometimes, when all of this happens, it means there are a lot of wars happening inside the person. These wars bring about pain, they bring about sorrow and they bring about the misery inside. When this happens, depression sets in. Depression has never been a friend to anyone, even to me. Depression is one of the mental illnesses that is not to be tossed aside due to the fact that depression can easily destroy a person in a instant.
When the depression has set in, there is a feeling of emptiness that surrounds the person, internally and externally. Then there is a motion of feeling heavy. This heaviness sits on the chest, making you feel like you are caring the weight of the world on your chest. Your eyes begin to get heavy, you want to fight it but no matter what your eyelids will close and all you will see is darkness. The darkness takes over and everything will become surreal. So surreal to the point that you think that you are high on acid or you are drunk from hard liquor. All the pain you feel externally, invades you internally and then you have been taken over by the depression.
Pain is inevitable, everyone feels it from time to time. Especially when you lose a loved one, when your heart breaks, or when you break a bone. But the pain that comes along with depression is a different type of pain. I’m not saying that is trumps over all of the other pain, but the pain that comes along with depression makes you feel worthless, makes you feel like you are unable to do something. But inside that pain, there is a light. That light helps you crawl through the pain in the dark deprecating world that depression swallows you in. The light helps a person create art in a whole new way, in ways that most would never have thought of.
Depression has been an ally and an enemy my entire life. Medication that the physicians try to prescribe me do not work, on top of that, they make it worse. Therapy is not a source that I enjoy using because I feel like I am a burden and feel like I am wasting the therapists time by divulging my pain, my fears, and anger upon them. Instead I run to art. Writing and abstract-minimalism painting art are my ways to take aggression and pain out on. Most of my paintings and also my poems hold how I feel inside, they are the places where I can finally let myself go and try to heal myself for the most part. If you do suffer from depression just as I do, then go see your physician, therapist or someone who can help you. Medication may not be for you, but in the end, there are other ways to help you through the pain, it might even be through art.

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Under 5 Minutes

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With all of us working and trying to get our lives together, we ultimately end up forgetting about ourselves and about the world around us. Our minds are more focused on everyone else and more focused on sticking to a routine of our 9 to 5 jobs, while running around the house picking up after the little ones and making sure that food is prepared for breakfast, lunch or dinner. With all of this going on, we need to set aside at least five minutes to start doing these little rituals to help heal ourselves and to honor our guides and the Universe.

1. Close your eyes and take seven deep breaths. Each one of these are for each of your chakras, this is to balance your energy system.

2. When you wake up in the morning, sit at the edge of your bed and declare your intention for the day out loud to the Universe and to your guides. This will wake up your guides and they will be able to keep an eye on you throughout the day.

3. Smudge yourself from head to toe with sage to clear any negative energy from your body. You can do this twice a day, once in the morning before you head off to work and the second time before you go to bed at night, to get rid of the negative energy that you were around during your day at work.

4. Before each meal, bless your food with gratitude to absorb its highest vibration of nutrients.

5. Before you fall asleep after a long day at work, visualize cords connecting you to everyone you met that day, sending their energy back to them. This way you are not holding onto any energy that isn’t yours and wasn’t intended to be yours.

 

These little rituals will help heal you and help you have a greater bond with your guides and even with the Universe, who are which here to help you grow, learn, and become the person who you are meant to be.

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Just Breathe

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When we get bad news, what do we do? We hyperventilate, we worry, we think that everything is going to never get better. It is a mechanism that our bodies do when we receive bad news. I know for a fact that when I get bad news, I do not want to see anyone, speak to anyone or be around any human being. Instead, I rush outside, dart for the forest and mountains with my pen and journals and just write. Write until I can’t hold the pen anymore. I cry and cry, unable to cope with what is happening and then something happens.

The wind will gently pick up and kiss my cheeks, the smell of the dew will calm my senses, the trees whisper a sweet melody to slow my mind down, and the sounds of the animals stop the tears from falling. For a brief moment, I stop and think. Think about why the certain thing is happening in my life, why this change is happening, and wonder what I am supposed to be learning from the entire situation. Then I can feel something in my heart, in my soul, in my mind tugging at me. As if my guides and guardians are trying to tell me something important. I sit there and listen. Listen to the wind, listen to the trees singing to me, listen to the animals that are roaming around and listening to the voice inside of me saying, “just breathe”. When I hear that, I instantly calm down. If it weren’t for that little voice inside telling me to just breathe, I would still be crying constantly, still be hyperventilating, still be hiding away from civilization. Instead, I stay in the forest a little while longer, let the soothing notes of the trees flow through me, let the gentle wind calm my aura, let the dew or the rain wash away the toxin or negativity away from me. Then I look up, stare at the sky, and whisper a “thank you”. This thank you is for mother earth, for father sky, for the animals that roam the forest and mountains, for the trees and rain, for my guides and ancestors. It is for them. Because they help me get through a tough ordeal and help me calm down a bit and help me find balance and peace. And in all honesty, that is what I need. It is what you need.

Bad news, it is something that we all do not want to receive from someone, no matter what the subject matter may be. It might be from a doctor, a family member, a friend, colleague, anyone; but we need to remember that we must stop and just breathe. Breathe in the air, breathe in the positivity, and things will ultimately get better. It might not be right away, but things will get better. They always do.