abstract · activist · advice · anorexia · Anti bullying · being prepared · body image · body imaging · bulimia · Cyber bullying · discipline · Endangerment · healing · Influences · Knowledge · Knowledge is Power · lifestyles · Mind Body Fitness Coach · predators · school · sexual predators · shelter · Society · students · Teachers

It Starts With Us: Parents Talking to Their Children to Stop Bullying

02002092ac5485f240e80139b0b2a96a

“You’re not thin enough”, “You look weird”, “Why are you even here? You should die”, these phrases are just a few of the phrases that are being thrown around in the schoolyards, in the classrooms, and I kid you not, at work as well. And believe it or not, there are even some worse phrases that will not be mentioned in this post. Why? Because they are horrifying and should never be said to another human being, or any being for that matter.

Now, I am not a parent, well, I am a fur-mama, but I do not have any human children at the moment. However, I do have nieces and nephews, and they are the light of my world, and right now they are very young, very impressionable, and can sense when things are not right. And I know that they are the perfect target for bullying. Hell, every child, teenager, and adult is a perfect target for being bullied. I know this. I’ve lived through most of my life of being bullied. Bullied by classmates, by teachers (yes, that does happen), and even bullied by co-workers, and it is not something I would want another person to endure.

Recently, I found out that a friend of mine’s son was bullied. Bullied to the point that he was sent to the hospital with a broken nose, several broken ribs, and bruises all up and down his body. Do you know how angry this made his father feel? How his mother felt? Hell, when I heard what happened I got so mad to the point that I nearly broke a counter. Yes, I got that mad. But where does this anger get placed? On the school system? Absolutely, the school is responsible for the children while they are at school, and under their supervision. On the children themselves? Of course, they are supposed to know what is right from wrong. On ourselves? Yes, a million times yes it is, the anger should weigh heavily on us adults. Why should we be angry with ourselves? Because we are the adults here, we are supposed to show our children how to behave, how to treat one another and to show them that they are not supposed to bully and assault others. As the adults we are supposed to set an example for them, to show them that two beings can be in the same room without violating the other. We are not supposed to set a bad example to them about how to start a fight, how to mistreat a girl or a boy. We are the adults here, it is our job.

Yes, there are pep rallies every year in most schools that bring awareness to the subject at hand, but do they really make an impact? No, not really. Growing up I went to several of those rallies, and do you know what still occurred. The bullying still occurred. Don’t get me wrong, I think the rallies are great, but they do not actually do much help when it comes to telling children to stop bullying, to stop assaulting their classmates, or anyone they meet in life.

It all starts at home, with the parents. As parents, we are supposed to set examples, good examples of how to treat others, and it is the way you mistreat others, say unkind and horrible things about another person is what the children are seeing more of. I know this to be true. I know a lady who is in her early 40’s and she treats others like crap, she mistreats them, bullies them, steals their energy, and makes others feel like garbage. And time and time again her children have witnessed this, and time and time again I have to remind her that they are watching her every move, every word that she says, and they are more than likely going to mimic her as they grow up. And that is what happens. Children mimic their parents, they mimic the way we talk to each other, how we treat each other. And if they are seeing that we are mistreating each other, then they are going to assume that it is completely normal, that it is okay to bully and assault each other.

So, parents this on us. We need to be setting a good example for the children, and show them how two human beings can get along, and show them how to treat others. Have a long conversation, or two, or three. It doesn’t matter how many conversations you have with your children, the only thing that does matter is that you talk with them and that you set yourself as a good example. Because if we don’t do anything about this, then more and more boys and girls will end up in hospitals due to broken ribs, led to anorexia or bulimia, or even led to the final blow of a gun from being bullied.

Abuse · activist · Anti bullying · beingunique · body imaging · greed · healthy · lifestyles · Sex · sexual predators · unconditional · utopian

Fight The New Drug

image

I was approached to go over this subject by quite a few people. And I had to really think about this subject, due to the fact that I have dealt with this new drug in the past. For the record, being addicted to porn is a drug. It is like any other drug out there, you can get addicted and it can ruin your love life and ruin you.

     The year was 2005, I was in 8th grade. I was like any other teenage girl. Participating in basketball, choir, spending most of my time in the library, getting in trouble and hanging out with my friends. One day after school, when I was researching some things on the internet for a project, I came across a website. At the time, I didn’t think much of it. I knew what the site was about, I had seen Playboy magazines and also seen the late night movies on Cinemax , so I didn’t care. But at that time, I didn’t know the affect it would have on me. I didn’t know that I would be addicted to it. Throughout the rest of my 8th grade year, I kept watching the videos online and checked out the Playboy magazines that I hid in my room. At one point, I told myself that I wanted to look like a play bunny and make those kind of videos because I thought they were amazing. A couple years later when I was turning 16, I was dealing with the addiction of watching porn every night before I went to bed and also dealing with being bullied because I was considered different from everyone that I went to school with. My addiction was getting worse and worse. I kept thinking about the videos while I was sitting in class. I would have fantasies play out in my head. It would keep me distracted from my classwork. By the time I was 18 years old, I had already tried to get help for my addiction, I thought that being baptized would be the answer. But it wasn’t. Yes, I had found God. But my addiction to porn was getting stronger and stronger. I started to have body image issues. I kept thinking that if I had bigger breasts and butt with a flat stomach, then guys would want to be with me. At 18 years old, I had dealt with some horrible guys. No, I didn’t have sex. I didn’t lose virginity till I was 20 years old. But at the age of 18, I kept thinking that if I had looked like the porn stars, then maybe I would have had a better shot with the guys. Even though my mindset was like that at the time, I knew in my heart that I was not ready to go that far with someone. I wanted my first time with someone who was special to me and didn’t degrade my body. I had continued to have the body image issues in college, while I was still addicted to the porn sites. It was getting worse. And when I had moved to a new state to attend a better college, I had decided to finally get help. I wanted to have a healthier perspective of my body and also step away from those sites. A person that I was working with back in 2013, told me of someone who would love to help me get away from the porn and help me with loving my body just the way it is. That woman helped me with my addiction and body issues. June 26, 2013 was the last day that I ever saw a porn video, website, and Playboy magazine. I can honestly say that it is amazing. It feels amazing to step away from those horrible sites and magazines. Yes, there are temptations out there, especially with the 50 Shades of Grey books and movie. But I steer clear of those things, because I know for a fact that it will bring back that addiction. And I don’t want to go back down that road. I am not a prude. I still have a sexual side, but I know for a fact that I don’t need to look at a porn site, movie or magazine to bring out my fantasies. I have developed a healthier lifestyle when it comes to sex. Not only that, I have developed a healthier body image. It has definitely been a long painful process, but I learned a lot about the porn industry and also about body image issues. I can honestly say that I am a fan of burlesque. It’s not porn and it’s all about the art of seduction and embracing the body as a beautiful thing. I have friends, men and women, who are burlesque dancers and all of them are different sizes. They don’t get naked on stage, and it is a beautiful form of art. I know that people will have a hard time with keeping porn and burlesque into their own categories, but I will go over that in a completely different post on another day.

Fast forward to now, it’s 2015 and it will be 2 years in June since the last time I went to one of those sites. I feel better about myself and I’m now a spokesperson standing up against the porn industry. I know the affects that a person goes through, in no particular order:
-body image issues
-feeling worthless
-objectification
-leads to other addictions
-depression
-unrealistic expectations in the bedroom
-guilt
-abusing yourself or even a partner
-many other problems that a person goes through.

Those in the porn industry are not happy with themselves. They are only making those videos in order to make money to feed those other addictions that they are dealing with. Not only that, they are upset with their bodies and with whatever damaged them as a child. No one really wants to make those videos or be a centerfold in a magazine. I know there are a lot of people who are dealing with being addicted to porn. Let me tell you, it is hard to step away from those sites and put down those magazines, but it will make a big impact in your life once you start to get help with the addiction.

This was the hardest post that I’ve ever had to write. Due to my own experience with it, but I wanted to show that there is hope. That you can get help with your addiction. Being addicted to porn is like any other drug. You have side effects and you can easily get addicted to other drugs while you have this problem. It’s time to stand up and fight the new drug. Getting rid of the porn industry will make life healthier. Yes, there has always been some sort of porn. Pompeii was a hotbed of prostitutes and there are still paintings of porn in the brothels, but to me those are like child’s play. Porn nowadays has gotten a lot worse and people are flocking to it like a duck to bread.
Stand up against the new drug and create a healthier lifestyle for everyone.

activist · discipline · Education · lifestyles · predators · Sex · sexual predators · students · Teachers

Teachers And Their Students

image

   When you look at this picture, you would say that she is a “beautiful young lady with her life ahead of her”. However you would probably not think that she would be convicted of having sexual relations with her students.
The young lady in the mugshot is 27 year old, Jennifer Marie Perry. She is a English high school teacher at Pinson Valley High. She is married, but has no kids. The only thing that would be considered her kids, is her three dogs that her and her husband have.

Recently, this young teacher turned herself into the local police station after she had jacked off a 17 year old student on the school’s ground after hours. Now, I don’t know how far this teacher and the student had gone, but no teacher should ever have sexual relations with a student. For one, that is called, statutory rape. Secondly, the teacher would be risking his or her position as a teacher if they were to have sexual relations with a student of theirs. If I found a teacher having a sexual relationship with a student, I would get them fired immediately and put in prison.

   Here’s the sad thing though. All over Facebook, there are guys saying, “Where was she when I was in school?” And “I would tear that p***y up!” No, no, no! I’m sorry, but that’s just wrong. When a male teacher does something like this, everyone jumps down his throat and everyone wants to beat him up. But once a female teacher does this, she is hated by women but loved by men. Not only that, men wish that they were that student and having sex with the teacher. It’s a double standard and I’m sick of it. It’s not “hot” when a teacher has a sexual relations with a student. Sure, the fantasy is nice when you are role-playing with your significant other, but the reality of it is pretty disturbing and unethical.
The amount of sexual predators in these schools is astounding and disturbing at the same time. From now on, anyone who wants to be a teacher needs to have a thorough background check and also do a full evaluation of their mind and personality. That’s how I’m feeling about this whole situation.