Worn to the Bone (Poem)

I’m worn to the bone,
suffocated by the silence
that you left me in
as I stood in the middle of our home.

Just a stab of lies radiated from your mouth,
with you sitting there with a stoic face,
as tears fill my eyes
and glass broken all over the place.

I’m worn to the bone,
with my heart tearing
all I can do is be grateful that you no longer grace this place,
the place we once called home,
and can finally begin to heal
while I still feel worn out.

Fresh Cup of Tea ( Poem)

The steam rises from the kettle
as the phone on the counter stays silent,
creating an uncomfortable scene
with me standing in the middle of it all.

Another morning where I relive each memory,
the good ones along with the bitter ones,
toasting the new sun with a fresh cup of tea each morning
letting the universe take hold of our destinies.

As the tea leaves mingle with the water,
it is here I know that this small trial is meant to make us stronger
not weaker,
so all you and I can do is hold on a little longer,
drink our tea,
and watch the sun rise again the next morning,
while we are in different countries.

Book Club: July

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“The Diary of a Chambermaid” by Octave Mirbeau graces the book of the month club for the month of July. This classic book transports back in time to witness the life of Celestine, a chambermaid, that goes to different houses and takes care of the occupants. Her first station is at the home of an elderly man who has an odd fetish with her boots, later on while she is still working there, she finds the man dead in bed with one of her boots in his mouth. She then takes a position at a home where a married bourgeois couple reside, and she finds herself in the midst of a estranged marriage and ends up becoming entangled in their marriage as well. Celestine’s last position is at the home of bourgeois café hostess who mistreats her servants at every turn. During all these positions at all of these different residents, Celestine has begun to learn more about her body, her mind frame, and finds herself learning the ways of love, sex, and even the ways of the upper class world.

Octave Mirbeau is one of the most gifted authors of the late 1800’s-early 1900’s, and this book proves the talent he possessed. Celestine, the main character of the novel, is a great strong leading character, showing exactly what all women go through from an early age, and it shows that each woman takes control of their own lives and situations in different ways.

I thoroughly enjoy this novel, just as I enjoy all of Octave’s other novels, and this is why I highly recommend reading this book for the month of July. Once you have finished reading this book, comment below and tell me what your thoughts are on the character, the plot, and the book as a whole.

Amnesia (Poem)

 

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A storm passes through my heart
as thoughts of you fade,
keeping me at the base of the lighthouse
as you drift away.
The soft kisses you once placed on my lips
have drifted in the wind,
just like the touch of your fingers
have slipped away as they stop touching my skin.

My heart feels like it’s caught in the tide
trying to get back to me
as you fly on the waves of the wind into the sky,
leaving me with amnesia.

A Letter to my 18 year old Self

To My 18 year old Self,

 

Congratulations you are graduating high school, now here are somethings you need to know about entering the adult world. As you enter into the adult world, you will feel even more confused, alone, and maybe slightly unsure about if you are doing the right thing, and here is the thing, do not worry too much. Because you are not the only one who feels this way, millions of people feel alone, feel unsure about their purpose, and feel as though they are lost in the chaos of life. Just breathe. Breathe and do not be afraid to get the help that you need.

As you navigate through the college years and the multiple jobs you will have, you will find yourself a little more. Especially in the sense of what you are looking for in a workplace setting, and what you are looking for in your own career. Don’t assume that you will figure it out right away, because in reality that is just ridiculous. You will not figure it out until later on in life. Also, keep in mind, you will have numerous jobs, these jobs are to prepare you for your own business that you will end up creating in your early twenties.

Love, you never really focused on love all that much in high school. Sure, you dated a few people, but you never really thought about love, or the marriage aspect of it. But now as you head into adulthood, you will end up finding yourself focusing a little more on the whole subject matter. Before you end up in a relationship with anyone, figure out what it is that you look for in a partner, because if you have no clue then you will end up throwing yourself into random useless relationships that are unfulfilling, and you will end up thinking that there is something wrong with you. And you know that saying, “things will happen when the time is right”? Yeah, that saying is true. Stop overthinking everything and focusing on the fact during the times that you are single that you don’t have anyone, because that is not helping you and you will end up putting yourself through even more heartache.

Don’t be afraid to speak your mind, because I know right now that you are extremely shy about saying anything, because you are more about making sure that everyone is happy, and you are more about pleasing everyone. Know this, you cannot please everyone. And with you still in the closet to a good portion of your family, you are hurting yourself and damaging yourself even more. Be proud to be bisexual, there is nothing wrong with it.

Just remember, life is going to tear you down, send you into a breakdown, and I know that you will have more depression breakdowns, just remember to breathe. Go get help, don’t be stubborn, and do not think that you are a burden because you are not. And remember to breathe, because if you could see where you are now in 2017, you would be so proud.

Sincerely,

25 year old me

August Afternoon (Poem)

It’s an August afternoon
the sun beats down on you and I,
here I can picture you walking by my side
till we both die.

Farther down this road
as I stand beside you
I look at you,
glancing ever so often into the future,
to see the life this waiting for us is like.

And now here we are
on this beautiful day,
as the love between you and I grows,
and this is the truth,
I will spend my whole life loving you.

Language of the Heart (Poem)

I speak the language that only you know,
while the rest of the world tries to decipher,
for it is our hearts that speak the same language.
The words speak the truth of my intentions,
they show that I want to sleep with you forever,
travel the world with you by my side,
and die in your arms.

From this day forward
I make you this promise,
that no matter how far we are apart,
I will send you moonlight kisses
till you are in my arms again.

* Painting commissioned by Vincente Romero Redondo